Evolution and responsibility...

I have increasingly mixed feelings about the shutting of larger high street stores.
On the one hand I feel bad for the staff, and of course the customers who have gift vouchers that are now null and void (You know, this is the reason I hand out money in cards instead of vouchers...)

They're all blaming Amazon, who is by no means blame-LESS...

....but....

Remember when we all bought our cameras from little independent shops instead of Jessops?

... or when you went to a book shop run by the same family since 1900 instead of Waterstones?

... or when you bought your music from that funny little shop with the overly enthusiastic guy behind the the counter who always tried to get you to listen to some Norwegian death Metal, instead of going to HMV?

This has been a long time coming and these stores can bleat all they like, at the end of the day they're just pissed that someone bigger, brighter and cheaper than them came along.

Karma's a bitch.

In all honesty, YES, I use Amazon.

However, my local bookstore, music store and camera store are all between 20 - 30 miles away.
I would LOVE to be able to spend time picking exactly what I want and getting advice from enthusiastic people who love their job, but it will cost me £20 + to get to them by train before I've even picked up a book/CD/Camera.

Besides, are the people who work in these large stores enthusiasts?

No.

A handful may be, but most are working there because its a job.... its a minimum wage job.

Ever tried getting DIY advice in Homebase?
The phrase "rabbit in the headlights" springs to mind.... if you look closely you can see them sweating in fear...

Its too late for these stores.
They taught the consumer how to think, lured them away from the independent shops with flashy showrooms and cheap prices.

Its a bit late to morn the high street now ....

It died years ago.

We just didn't notice.          

So what now?

I took down the decorations today.
Not because I wanted to but because some nice twist of bedroom emergency means I now have a futon in my kitchen... it was either the tree or I slept standing up...
To be honest, the last week hasn't been so peachy... Xmas day aside... in fact most of December has been blah and by the time the big day rolled up most of us had been ill, were ill or were shortly to get ill.
I know we're not the only ones.
The truth is, I'm finding I view the run up to Xmas with more dread than excitement now.
On the 1st of December I put up a white board with every date till the 25th and was horrified to see that we had something "xmasy" nearly EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!
What with school plays, carols, pantos, shopping, parties, decorating, wrapping, baking, work.... The kids were so tired by the time school kicked out that its like the immune system goes " uuuuuuuuuuuuuuggghhhhhmmmmrrrffffppppmmmm...plop..." and dies....

Am I the only one who feels rail roaded into being Xmasy and jolly and full o festive cheer for the best part of a month?
Its not even like these are our plans, mostly they're school or village things.... and then you feel mean for thinking like that.

OK people... am I a grinch for wanting to disappear for the whole of December?
To have a quiet, understated, yule celebration and then creep back in the dead quiet of January the 1st?

Tell me I'm not the only one?    

Facebook!

Facebook gets a bad rap a lot of the time.
Even though 200 million world wide use it, it seems that its not done to admit you use it or even (horror) enjoy using it!

Nice Grown Ups Middle Class People like to look down on Facebook as something which people with too much time on their hands poddle about on. They think its for kids or for 40 year old men living in their Mums back bedroom.

So you see, its easy to get a little paranoid about using it. Keeping quiet about your online life seems to be the "Adult" thing to do.

NGUMC people like to laugh about "pretend" friends and throwing sheep at other FaceBookers (which... sorry guys.... dates you. No one has thrown a sheep for about 2 years ;)

The thing is, social networking sites like Facebook are multi layered, and like real life, you receive as much as you look for.
For sure you can waste hours of your life setting up virtual farms or zoos and trawling through the news updates of 1500 "friends" but you can also make FB work FOR you.

They key word here is Network.
FB was set up as an online networking site.

Through joining groups/pages and commenting on posts, you start dialogues with new people.
Some of my dearest online friends I have met this way.
Some of my real life friends I have met this way as well.

I now have a small network of friends who support my ideals as I in turn support theirs. We share gardening tips, vegan anecdotes, parenting ups and downs, horse woes and yays, artistic critiques.

I don't "poke".

The novelty for that wore off years ago.

Through FB I have met some amazing and inspiring people, not just online but in Real Life too.
I've swapped, bought, sold and gifted items and had the same back.
I've found work through friends of friends.
I've wallowed in the ideas pool and taken all I can carry.
I've even got chickens through FB!

There's also the human interaction thing as well.

When you're at home, either working, taking care of kids or whatever, there is often a real lack in "adult" conversation during the working day.
Sometimes just venting on a status (Arrrrggghhh!!! Clients cancelled and messed my whole day up!) can means that the one or two people who comment back sympathising or giving you their own tale of woe, can buck you up a little, make you smile.

Sometimes I think the scoffers simply don't understand it.
Its easier to deride something you don't get than admit you find it confusing.
Like the Greek philosopher who derided the written word as the downfall of youth, for words written down would dull the minds of those who won't need to remember things, they see something this popular as only bad for intellect in general.

For every FB group that is childish or mean, there are many more that are welcoming, informative, charitable and giving.

Still not convinced?
Heres a few examples....

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_169517559727246&ap=1 Eco interest FB group.
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_145907615465178&ap=1 Friends of container gardening, helping villages in Malawi.
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_173747075997223&ap=1  eco urban sustainability.
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_108016595941197&ap=1 Pay it forwards, being nice for being nices sake :)

So want to connect?

My FB page , come along and say hi! Just remember to leave me a message, I don't add people who don't introduce themselves first!  ;)

There's always the block button for weirdos and stalkers ;)  

 

Puppy love?

Well its Nealy March.
Birds are singing, grass is growing, days are getting warmer, shelters filling up with puppies...........

Yup, that's right folks. Its now 3 months after Xmas which means that a lot of puppies bought just before Xmas (because it would be wrong to get a puppy FOR Xmas, right? *eye roll*) have not fulfilled their promise and are now waiting for a new home.

What possible reason could there be for getting rid of a 6 month old puppy?
Let me count the ways....

Not yet toilet trained.
Barking.
Destructiveness.
Nipping children.
Chasing livestock/cats.

Hmm.

When you take on a puppy you take on the responsibility for training that puppy.
Would you have a child and then expect him to raise himself?
Would you put your 4 year old child up for adoption because he wasn't toilet trained or drew on the walls or hit his brother?

I have had dogs since I was 6 years old.
There are some genuine reasons for rehoming a dog, I have rehomed two in my time.

The first was a beautiful dalmation who was picked on mercilessly by my other two dogs, the second was my border collies daughter who used to fight with her mother. In both cases I picked their new homes myself, visiting the owners and then following up with visits after. I did not wash my hands of the problem and make it someone else's.

So if your thinking of buying a puppy, heres what to expect.

1. Puppies need house training. They will not do it themselves and a dog crate won't do the job for you. How long will it take? Well how long is a piece of string? Every dog is different. My border collie was house trained within a couple of weeks my Yorkshire terrier took a good 9 months to be 100%. You will need to be ultra vigilant in the first few weeks, making it clear that outside is where he toilets, you need to be hawk like in noticing the signs he needs to "go" and work hard to help him do the right thing by accident so that he can learn it the right thing. So if you think putting your new pup in  crate and then going to work for 8 hrs a day is fine, you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of cleaning up poop.
2. Puppies need quite time. The new puppy is not a toy. Allowing children to play with the puppy unsupervised   is the quickest way to raise a fearful and snappy dog. The problem with snapping at children is either fear or excitment at this age. Again, if the pup is left alone all day and then wound up to a frenzy by the kids when you get home, snapping will happen.




Alfie and Merle. Play time was
closely supervised.


3. Puppies need to feel secure. Many homes consist of two adult working full time and kids at school. Would you have a toddler in the house and leave him alone for hours at a time? Would you be surprised when he became sad, destructive or noisy? Puppies CAN be left alone but you need to work up to it. Working quiet time (in a crate or other room) away from you into your puppy's routine means he can get used to spending time alone without getting distressed. A few minutes to start with working upto an hour. If your puppy is secure, has a routine (feeding and walks at the same time each day ) and has learnt to be calm there should be no problem with leaving him for a few hours at a time. Behavioral problems are often due to a dog feeling distressed. DO the correct ground work in the beginning and you won't have major problems.
4. Puppies need rules. Whats cute at 8 weeks isn't cute at 8 months. Don't allow your puppy to bite you in play, you're giving him the green light to bite in play as an adult, not good! If your pup accidentally catches you with his teeth while you're playing say no and stop the game. They soon learn to be careful. I used the word "ouch" with my Yorkshire terrier (a breed known as being snappy.... apparently), this means that if it happens with a child they are more likely to say ouch than no. Now if you say "ouch" he stops immediately and waits. Likewise jumping up and guarding toys and food. Also puppy "time outs" are very useful. When the yorkie was around six months old he growled at my youngest son. He was pushing the boundaries, trying to see if he could get the child to go away. I immediately growled "No" and whisked him off to the cat carrier and put him in another room for 10 minutes. Highly effective, none physical. He was put swiftly in his place and he knew it. Now he seeks out my youngest son and often sneaks into bed with him!
5. Puppies need time. Like small children they need time with someone to care for them, to teach them and to play with them. They are not toys to be left in crates until YOU want to play with them. A typical day in the life of a new puppy would go something like this. 

• Up and out to toilet.
• Breakfast.
•  Out to toilet.
• Play time.
• Out to toilet.
• Quiet time.
• Out to toilet. 
• lunch
• Out to toilet.
• Playtime
• Out to toilet
• Quiet time.
• Out to toilet.
• Dinner.
• Out to toilet.
• Playtime.
• Out to toilet.
• Bed.

Do you see a pattern here?
A young puppy needs to toilet after every meal, nap and playtime.... and often in between as well. Until they are on the way to being housetrained someone will need to look after pup.

Now I'm not saying that a working family can't have a dog. But if you can't offer that initial level of care in the first couple of months at least, maybe a puppy isn't for you. Of course you could ask a neighbour or friend to help out, or you could adopt an older dog who is happy for long periods of quiet time in the day.

Puppies are not toys, they come to you at 10 weeks or so at the same stage as a human pre-schooler. They need just as much love, attention and hard work as one too.
Think before you impulse buy that cute bundle off fluff.
Think about the mess, the chewed shoes, the fact that when puppy is six months or so they will start behaving like stroppy teenagers.
When you buy a puppy you commit to around 15 years of care.
15 years is a long time and there will be problems along the way, health issues, behavioural changes, changes in your own life.
Can you commit?
Or will you be like the others who throw out a puppy for not being "The perfect Dog".

ADOPT A DOG!!!!

Mrs Murray's Home for stray dogs and cats

SSPCA

RSPCA 

Battersea dogs home

Dogs Trust

Community sharing ideas

I love movies.
In fact next to books they are the biggest vice I have in relation to hoarding and buying.

My name is Kelly and I am a movie whore.

Kim was getting antsy with all the space the DVD's and videos were taking up. But gosh darn it its so easy now to buy a DVD for £3 and then I can't let them go. I know I might want to watch them again, or I can put them away for when the kids are older.

So this was a conundrum.
How do I justify keeping all these DVD's (aaaaand occasionally adding to the collection) and yet still keep my green flag flying?

And so the Premnay Movie Club was born!!

Local friends and neighbors submit a list of movies they are happy to lend out and in return they can borrow from the existing list. No fee, no credits, no points system, just good will!

You can see the site I set up HERE to learn more.

 Little project like this are the way forwards I think, a way to claw back a little of the sense of community and sharing that's been lost over the years.

Its early days yet and I'm hoping it will all work out!!

What green community ideas are in your area? Or what ideas would you like to see set up??
Do share!             

PowerOff Weekend mark II !! Friday 19th March - Sun 21st March 2010.

I'm sure you all remember the fantastic PowerOff Weekend last December, if not you can read the diary I wrote for that HERE.

Well its time for round two! And this time I want you all to join in with us!!
No excuses now ;)

So what does it involve?
Simple, 48 hrs without electric, so no TV, internet, radio, computer games, electric cooker, electric hot water. electric heating, fridge, freezer, microwave.. You get the idea.

"Oh horrible! Terrible! Besides..." *shift eyes, wringing hands* "I can't do it...I have work/ friends visiting/ kids......(add extra get out clauses here!)"

I KNOW you guys and I KNOW you want to do it SO I want you all to know that I am here (along with Malcolm Handoll from Orkney) to hold your hand, to guide you through the problems. If you have a concern or question for gawd's sake ask me!! You could even plan to just do one day or only daylight hours? A little this time and maybe the whole 48 hrs next time.
Life isn't an all or nothing!

We learnt a lot from the last POW and I feel I can answer most questions sensibly.

Malcolm posted a FAQ spot on the last post about POW dec '09 HERE so you can have a little look there and maybe find your concern answered satisfactorily.
Unlike Malcolm I have kids and so can answer first hand your fear about how kids handle electricity deprivation, as well as basic safety concerns (ie, naked flames etc).

A nice touch is that this POW falls over the Wiccan celebration of Ostera (You know, the ones the Christian church stole and called Easter ;) so what better way to celebrate the re-birth of the land than doing something to protect it, even for one weekend.

You are brave passionate people, you can do this little thing!
So Comment!! Share your enthusiasm as well as your worries and reservations and we can support each other.

xx

Development, NIMBY-ism and the enviroment ..Oh my!

This Saturday there is a "consultation" at our village hall about a proposed housing development in the village.
As with many things like this I am sure it is already a done deal and this is just the planners/ architects way of making soothing noises while ignoring us.

The development will be taking over approximately 20 acres of agricultural land between the village and our croft.

Now I must admit that when we first found out about this we were not happy bunnies. We like our privacy, we relish the break we have between us and the rest of the community and we didn't want houses backing onto our property.
But...and there is always a but isn't there, I could see the advantages.
The plan shows lots of trees, lots of green space and also a small shop and local business complex, which would all be gratefully received by the community, our own village shop having folded nearly five years ago.

Over the last few months I've been giving this a lot of thought.
You see,when people think of agricultural land they think of this......

When in actually fact alot of them are like this........


No hedges, no trees, no natural habitats at all for wildlife and wild fauna.

The country has been turned into a huge outdoor factory and the fields and animals are only the raw materials.
I posted a while ago about the barrenness of the fields next to me HERE.
The truth is this field, although classified as agricultural land, is little more than a brown site.
It is blasted several times a year with toxic chemicals (which incidentally end up in MY garden and on MY vegetable and breathed in by MY children) then a sparse crop (always the same crop, no rotation here!) is harvested and its sprayed again. NOTHING grows on it.
No weeds or grass.
NOTHING.
There is no wildlife.

When we first moved in and the field was set aside for a couple of years, we used to get ground nesting birds on it, arctic turns, night jars. There were rabbits and mice and butterflies and all sorts of other birds and insects, but now its like a sterile petrie dish, waiting for the next batch of chemicals.

Maybe houses aren't such a bad idea.

Every house will have a garden, ample opportunity for bird feeders, hedgehog habitats, butterfly and bee friendly flowers and best of all little to no industrial chemical sprays throughout the year.
Its a controversial thought in a village where more development is not wanted.
In fact a site being developed now I was very sad about.
A small acreage that had layed fallow for as long as we've been here and hosted wildflowers and all the wildlife that came with it.

But the field next to me?
I can't get worked up about it, not when I consider the environmental benefits.

Getting ready to power down for Power Off!

We here at the (almost) car-less family are very excited about tomorrows Power Off weekend.In a way it has almost (almost!) eclipsed Xmas as THE topic of the moment in our house. Even a trip into town to buy the last of the children's presents turned into a buying-things-for-Power-Off trip!

In preparation for tomorrow we have brought candles, a wind up torch and a solar outdoor light. The theory behind the light being that it MIGHT be useful to bring inside at night and have in the bathroom so the kids have a little safe light if they get up in the night. It remains to be seen if the solar light will get enough daylight to a)fully charge and b)last into the night and not be run down by midnight. Be very interesting to see how all these little things work, and that's the main reason we are doing this experiment, to give us the opportunity to think away from the norm, to look at the power we have and wonder how else we can implement it.

The weather at the moment is looking good for the weekend and so I hope that most of the daylight hours can be spent outside. We will in any case have to make sure that wood is chopped and horses done in the daylight anyway, but the plan is to make sure the kids have enough opportunity to blow off steam before dark.

Tomorrow will be tricky for us as we will lose some of our precious daylight due to running an event for the Bennachie Access Team tomorrow, but with some thought it should be fine.

The inside, dark, activities will be Xmas orientated, so paper chains, card making (and writing) and snowflakes will be the order of the day.
We also have cards, noughts and crosses, hangman and even i-spy if it gets too rough!
To honest though I am not planning every second for them. They can draw and play with their toys without electric lights so they can be encouraged to do that as well.

So today I am spending washing clothes so that school clothes will be ready for Monday, baking so we have some "treats" and tidying up, so we don't fall over in the dark!

I'll be taking pictures and keeping notes and will be back online on Monday!
Have a great weekend!

A path less trod.

We have made a lot of life choices in the last few years as a family.

We took the plunge and went vegan, swallowed our fear and brought bikes to cut down on car use, decided to keep our horses barefoot rather than encumber them with heavy metal shoes, threw out dog food and make Jenny homemade vegan food, our choosing to home school after primary school finishes.... And much more.

One of the things I have noticed though is the reactions of people (directly and indirectly) to our choices.

For a long time I was confused about peoples attitude.
After all I thought, this is OUR life, why do you care so much? We never pushed our views on people, never expected special treatment, never judged..and yet......

I've had someone tell me (in a very loud voice) That I couldn't possibly be a vegan because I had chickens. (For the record, the definition of a vegan is one who lives without the exploitation of animals. Seeing as my hens are rescued ex-layers and eggs come no matter what we do, I am comfortable eating their eggs, we don't however eat brought eggs or other products with egg in them.)
I was told that at a village meeting about a community even someone kindly asked if one of the soups would be vegan and was basically told that we couldn;t be expected to be catered for as a minority in the village (although there are 5 of us and my kids make up an a significant amount of the pupils at school).
People practically throw lifts at us because we can't POSSIBLY expect our children to cycle into town (a WHOLE 3 miles!).

The more we break away from what is considered the western "norm" the more I see frightened people.

By being vegan (and being friendly and un-judgmental makes no difference) they feel we are saying "Your diet is wrong. Its un-healthy and un-ethical."
Good friends still wink and nudged Kim and try to get him to eat meat. It makes them feel better to think veganism is a passing fad, a mini madness that causes people of over-sentimentality to deviate from the "correct" path.By choosing to cycle rather than run around in a car they fell we are saying "By using a car you are leading a sedentary and environmentally unsustainable life." They constantly ask when we will be buying a normal car and press lifts into our palms like alms.

By choosing to home school during the secondary years they feel we are questioning the regular pattern of school. We are saying "We care about our children's education and have no faith in the regular path of schools and exams." This is something that makes them question how we could consider taking children out of school. After all we all went there didn't we? We're alright aren't we?

The fear that other people...Other NORMAL seeming people are questioning the regular order of life, the very foundations on which modern civilization is built.... Food, Transport, Education... How can these things be deviated from?

The human animal is just that. An animal with all the instinct and safety in numbers that causes the majority to at best treat you as odd and at worst behave openly hostile to you.
Nothing is more scary than someone who seems to live happily, even thrive by dancing to the beat of a different drum.

The point is some are strong enough to follow their heart others will live their lives scared of being driven from the "herd".

So if your life choices include deciding not to vaccinate, to forgo meat, to live in a roundhouse in the woods, to medicate with herbs, to drop out and walk the earth without a care...do it.

Like the man Say's you only have one life, live it, live it well, live it happy and so long as it harm none then do it with your head held high.

Can't give up the car? Green your outlook anyway :D

Regular readers will know that although we here at the (almost) car-less family, strive for a life without the car,we also accept that in some instances people (us included) are not fully able to give their car up completely.

For example, we live in a rural area with inconsistent and highly variable public transport. We have children and animals and also like to use Freegle (ex freecycle) a lot.
Do we beat ourselves up about occasional car use?
Hell no!
We're only human, and we have lives to lead, but we do try to stick to a few golden rules that I thought I'd share with you today....

• Do you REALLY need to take the car out today?Learn to analyse your proposed trip out in the car. Is it really necessary? Can you wait until a day you can use public transport? Can you even do without making the trip at all? The majority of car trips in the UK are UNDER 5 miles!! Easy cycling distance, moderate walking distance.
• Plan ahead.It sounds so simple doesn't it. But think about how many times a week you run out of bread, cat food, loo roll etc. Work out how much you need of something for a week and then buy one extra.
• Use your car trip in an industrial way.So you really REALLY need to go out in the car, ok, its life or death right? Well make sure you have other things to do while your out. Before you go out make sure you have all the shopping you need. Is there some DIYing you were going to do? Maybe this is the time to nip to the hardware store to pick up those washers or screws or whatevers. Fill the back of your car with the re-cycling you haven't got round to taking out yet. Better yet, ask a neighbour if they need anything while you are out. That way you are potentially saving TWO car trips, and maybe next time they will ask YOU if you need anything from town.
• Make your own rules and stick to them.We never..I mean NEVER drive to the local shop. It is 3 miles away. I can cycle to the shop and back within 40 minutes. The only time the car goes near the shop is if we are on the way back from somewhere further afield. If the weather is too bad for me to think about cycling there, I can't have needed the item that badly can I.
• Re-priorities "emergencies"We tend to treat running out of olives or icing sugar as a family disaster in this current car loving society. So you didn't plan ahead? You will next time right? But in the meantime, change your dinner plan and have pasta WITHOUT olives, leave the icing off the cupcakes. Learn to adapt, learn to be flexible, learn what is really important and stop worrying about the small stuff.
• Explore other avenues of transport.You need to get some where. If you can't walk you can see if its practical to cycle. If not check out the public transport in your area. If that's no good see if you can get a lift with a friend going in the right direction (com'mon, EVERYONE is in their cars, you must know SOMEONE who is driving your way that day?). If all else fails take your car and re-read point no. 3.
• DON'T PANIC!! There are ways around everything if you use a little thought. Try and make appointments around your public transport timetables. Get as much delivered as possible. Talk to your friends and neighbours, try and organise lift shares.
• Don't beat yourself up because you can't afford the new "eco" cars. Its better for an old car to only be driven twice a week than to use an "eco" car so indiscriminately that wheels never stop turning.

Try to look at the thing as a whole.

Use your car as little as possible and its better than using it without thought or care. Before you know it you will have turned around and realised that the car you "couldn't live without" hasn't left your drive for a week.

Good luck and have fun!

A hard week.

Well apologies are due to my regular readers.

What must you think!

No Meatless Monday!

No new posts!

Even limited twitter time.

There where a lot of small and personal niggles this week but the main upset was a parents consultation I had with my youngest two boys teachers on Monday afternoon.

Usually these things follow a set pattern.
The kids are friendly, polite, work well enough when prodded with sharp sticks that sort of thing.

I LIKE their teachers, really I do. I have know the head teacher for the last 6 years and we have been through some challenging times with my eldest with allergies and dyslexia and have always come out the end on the same track and usually laughing.

The consultation was supposed to be about Alfie as this is his first full term as a Primary one pupil.
A quick 10 minutes to let us know how he has settled in.

As we say down we where told that actually they wanted to talk more about Owen (who is P2. The first 3 classes are mixed though, so they are in the same "class")

Immediately we where told that they were worried about how "immature" they both were, how unfocused when working. Owen especially they said had slipped back and wouldn't concentrate on his work and whined that he was still a "little boy" and wanted to play with the P1's.

Apart from a few extra points this was the basic summing up of the meeting.

I can tell you I was broadsided.
As I had to rush home to meet the older kids I had no time to even process what had been said , let alone ask any questions.

Me and Kim briefly talked about it ont he way home, but then kids and other jobs got in the way and I put it to the back of my mind for the evening.

By the morning we where both fuming and I decided to send the headteacher an email asking for another meeting.
Well I can tell you I was in tears as I wrote it. I sobbed as my fingers typed and I saw how unfair they had been to my boys.

Here is the email.



Hi -----,

Yesterdays consultation broadsided me a bit and as I had to get home for Ollie and --------, I didn't really have time to think of any questions to ask you and Mrs ---- .

May I start by saying we have always found you approachable and understanding and I hope this will be the case now.

Firstly, we were disappointed that a consultation for Alfie turned into a meeting about Owen. We felt we came away with very little information on how Alfie is doing apart from the fact you find him "Immature".
If you felt there was cause to talk to use about Owen before his consultation maybe we could have organised a separate meeting?

We also felt that the problems you feel Owen (and Alfie) have are down to immaturity.We fail to see exactly what you mean and found the whole thing to be a little vague, the word immaturity being bandied around rather than a specific problem being discussed.
We don't consider either of them to be immature when interacting with boys in their age group (which they do out of school) and have always considered them to be MORE mature than boys their age in some respects, that is looking after themselves personally (toileting, dressing etc) and emotionally.
The only reason we can think you consider them immature is in comparison to their peers at -------.
However in the case of Owen I feel comparing him to his peers in unfair.
His class is made up entirely of girls, which in the main (and you admitted this yesterday) do better at this age academically and socially. For Owen to be held up against them is a false comparison In our opinion.
I should also point out that all of the girls in his class attend a great deal of after school, weekend and holiday activities, so are in effect in a "school" environment for almost twice the time Owen is.
For one thing we are unable to afford to send our children to every activity available to them and on the other hand we have no wish to as this is not the way we want to bring them up.
You already know my thoughts on not allowing children to have time to themselves and, without getting personal and I trust this will go no further, we have no wish to listen to our children whining and crying and being generally unhappy because they are being bundled into the car yet again to go to yet another after school activity. This is something we hear every day by living close to people who practice this.
In this instance it feels like we are being penalised for not having the money to do these things and also having a different opinion on child raising.

On the subject of Owen falling behind slightly and wishing to be seen as a "little boy" we feel you are being unsympathetic to his feelings in this case.
If you cast your minds back to when he started P1 he was devastated when the P3 boys would not play with him. Yes he eventually played with the girls but lets face it they played with him like a doll most of the time and for most of the year he moaned to us about having to play with the girls.
Is it any surprise that he should be initially excited about --- (another boy) and Alfie starting school?
Is it any surprise that he should then feel unhappy that he isn't able to work with them in class?
You talk about your fear of Alfie catching Owen up and maybe overtaking him academically, well we don't see this as a problem.
Remember there is only 9 months between them, the same as between Oliver and ---- in P5.
Also shouldn't Owen be given the opportunity to develop self impetus by failing? Surely this is better than spending a life time coaxing him to do better?
We find it hard to get upset about something that when the boys are 10 & 11 or 20 & 21 will simply have no relevance.
This was obviously a big concern between you and Mrs ----- though.

In summing up we both felt that the whole consultation came across as very negative.
We understand that when classes are so small any child lagging behind makes a big impact on class performance statistics, but we have no wish for our children to be educated as statistics.
In this case we would like to arrange another meeting with you to discuss what the real issues of immaturity are.
In all honesty if these boys are going to be treated as though "under performing" we will be considering bringing our homeschool plans forwards.

Yours sincerely

---------------------.

I don't think I could write that out again if I tried I was so upset.

That afternoon I received an email from the headteacher apologising profusely. She agreed that immature had been vague and in retrospect really the wrong word to use.

I actually saw her that afternoon as it was open day and we snatched 20 minutes or so talking and she agreed with me that taking the pressure off Owen to "grow up" is fine by them, yes he should be allowed to develop naturally.
In her defence I am in the minority of parents who feel this way, most if the time she is fending off angry parents demanding to know why their 5 yr old children aren't getting as much homework as the kids in another school!

The trouble with these consultations is that they are so short that to try and cram everything in things get lost along the way.

Anyway another meeting is being arranged and hopefully we will get a clearer picture of their concerns and, as parents, we will be able to take the time to discuss them with the teachers.

I have very definite ideas about my children's education.
Although the plan is to let all 3 of them finish primary education I don't want to end up with broken spirited 11 year olds with no love for learning.
On the other hand the small and personal school is a safe and (mostly) nurturing place for them and gives them a chance to make village friends they will keep.

So that is why I have been off this week.

My crying jags and fits of mild depression over whelmed me and made me feel ill.

But I'm back :)

And I have LOTS to post about :D

Time for a change?

I really enjoy blogging.
I love the freedom I have to write what I think, even if I'm the only person who ever reads it. Unlike a diary I don't have to keep it a secret or writ in it every day (dear diary, had toast for breakfast...again). I can add links and write about current affairs and about all the other stuff in my head that seems to have no other place to go.

I love The (almost) car-less family blog but recently things have taken a turn in the road.

And if anyone out there is reading and has an opinion I would love to hear what you think about the evolution of my little blog world.

Personally I think the blog is getting a little crowded and am thinking of starting a second blog, one that leans more towards the vegan/ permaculture side of my life.
I worry that people who turn up wanting an alternative transport blog will be put off by Peta stickers and vegan recipes!

This may make my online life a little schizophrenic but its how I feel at the moment.

What I want to know is if you agree with any (or as many)of the following statements. Please copy and paste onto a comment with any added thoughts of your own...I really want people to get a full on experience when they come here :)

OK.

1. I think the blog is fine as it is.

2. I would prefer a bike only/ vegan only blog.

3. I like the content of both and would visit both blogs.

4. I like some of the content and might visit the other blog when a relevant link is posted.

5. I would like the bike blog to also tackle family issues (home school health etc)

6. I would like the vegan blog to also contain family issues.

7. I have no opinion on any changes to the blog.


I think that what I am leaning towards is posting as relevant in each blog, both carrying home and enviromental issues and sometimes linking to the other blog.

Really want some opinions here!!

xx

What ever happened to town and country?

The shift in the way people think has been disastrous for the environment on local level.
People are convinced that if they recycle and compost they are doing more than enough to make a difference but they are so wrong.
In the days before every home had a car (let alone 2 or 3!)people lived near their place of work.
So if you worked in the city you lived in the city, if you worked ona farm you lived in the country...easy peasy.
But then some of the richer city dwellers decided it would be nice to live in the country and "commute" in his nice shiny car.

In the past the very rich of course had kept a city and a country home, catching the train at the weekend to visit the wife and kids. But in the days when the rich had household help I should imagine the onset of WWII trying to keep two houses running was significantly more expensive than running a car to work everyday.

Where the Rich lead the middle class will follow, and soon the city and town workers started flocking to the country for a "better life".

Now no-one can deny that back then life in the city was hard, but then it was also hard in the country.


It seems to be the norm with most people now...leave home, get a job and a flat, get married, get a house, hae kids and MOVE TO THE COUNTRY!
The trouble is though that all the city and town dwellers wanted to bring their urban life with them.
They continued to commute to work by car (in fact so many did that the UK has lost most of its train and bus routes as so few people used them), and in doing so rejected using the facilities in the villages in favour of shopping in the town on the way home, so the rural post offices and shops died out one by one until what we are left with a a series of ghost villages.

My village has doubled in size through new builds in the last 3 years and is set to get even bigger by 2012.
But it seems the more new houses go up the less facilities outr village has.
The shop closed 4 years ago, leaving a huge gap in the community, the pub has no more patrons, although there are twice as many people living in the village now, and is struggling to stay open.
Every morning the occupants of these new houses get into their cars and drive away to work between 15 and 40 miles away from here.

All you need is a tumble weed hopping down the street.

Every evening they come home and sit in their new houses. They don't walk in the countryside or visit the country pub or take bike rides around the lane....they sit in their houses and watch TV.

And living in the country is better than the town because????

Why do I live in the country?

I have had the fortune to have lived in all ways, city, town, suburbs and rurally. I am a country girl at heart, I love to grow our own food and walk on the mountain, we have the horses and need to live here to keep them.
I loved living in the town when I did. I loved being close to facilities and never having to worry about having a car, I could walk or bus or cycle where ever I wanted.

I sometimes feel people move to the country because they feel its "what you do".
By moving indiscriminately though they turn the country into a suburb miles away from anywhere.

Towns now, for the most part, are green places now. They are no longer the factory chimney spewing, grim places they where 50 years ago.
What can be done to encourage people to stay close to their place of work again?
How can you change the mindset that you've "made it" if you live in the country, even though you are moving to what is essentially a tiny house ona new estate which is only in the "country" because it is miles from town and shops.


I have no objection to people moving into the country, after all I am an incomer myself...the objection is the urbanising of villages.

The unwitting campaigner.

I'm trying to find out all the things that are available in my area and have once again found myself in the position of campaigner to get a service re-instated.

This is not a task I enjoy..beyond this blog I am a wallflower.

A mobile library runs through this area so I got in touch to ask if they stopped in my village.
I was told not anymore.
Here's the kicker.
If I can find three other people to sign up they will consider re-instating it!
Talk about pressure!

So now I have to put my "people" hat on and *gulp* talk to them...*sigh*

But it could be worth it, it could be the start of young mums using it rather than carting the kids 20 miles away to use the library. It could get the old folks out of the house once a week! It could cut down my book spending bills!!

Ok..deep breath...I can do this..its a greater good thing.

Whimper.