The two youngest boys got in trouble yesterday and as usual I find myself wishing I could home school.
Don't get me wrong, If they're naughty they SHOULD get punished, but it seems more and more that the teachers at this school are only happy with girls.
It often feels like the boys (and its not just my boys) are punished for being...well... boys.
They get banned from playing football because of ONE child (hardly fair), movement isn't encouraged, bullying by a couple of the older "good" girls seems to be overlooked.
Dear god..... I don't want to be one of those "I know they're no angels, but...." mothers, but their school experience isn't so great for them.
Even my eldest backed them up.
He's a people pleaser, so never said anything while he was at that school, but now readily agrees and gives his own anecdotes about unfairness.
Its not this school.... its all of them.
The youngest two have no enthusiasm for school now, although they both have inquiring minds at home they just don't see the point of bothering at school.
My youngest especially has a hard time, and his anxiety manifests itself at home.... He's much calmer during the holidays for example.
If I had the oppotunity to be more mobile and DO things I'd seriously consider homeschool.
I'm just scared that if I did take them out of school there'd be nothing for them to do after a while.
Sucks that the public transport here is so rubbish and expensive...
Rant over :/
Showing posts with label Homeschool. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Homeschool. Show all posts
Friday, 8 March 2013
Friday, 7 January 2011
Yes you CAN have it both ways!
Those of you who have followed this blog for a while will know of my "will I, won't I" debate with homeschooling.
(For those that don't you can catch up HERE.)
There have been several obstacles in the way of homeschooling. The lack of income, the nature of the work we do (often dangerous, not child friendly), the fact we are so far away from public/free resources, lack of transport.... yadda, yadda, yadda.
We had plans worked out, clever money saving ideas for learning, how we would split learning between us, Kim fully committed and eager to participate.
There's only one problem.
Ollie doesn't want to do it.
Its a bit like deflating a balloon.
The trouble is, although he is none too fond of the academic side of things at school, he loves being there. He loves his friends, the activities they do, the plays they put on, the art and music lessons, if you just took away maths and English he'd happily move into school!
This left me in a bit of a quandary.
I honestly believe that his reading and maths problems would improve in a home education environment, that he would be able to do these subjects one to one in his own way and have more time to do the things he loves, I saw it fitting in with a newer, shinier, BETTER family lifestyle and he said no!
As a parent which way should I go?
Take him out of school anyway because I think it would be best for him?
The trouble is I've yet to come across a home school story where the child in question was taken out of school against their wishes. (Although this is just my experience, there may be many of them!)
Most of the time the children either never attended school or left school having not enjoyed the experience. To take Ollie out of school when he enjoyed going seemed..... well.... as bad as making him attend school if he hated it.
So for a while I gently seethed, not at him, just the unfairness of it.
I had worked myself into a frenzy, made plans, saved a thousand useful websites, picked up books from charity shops and it was all for nothing.
Then on Xmas day I opened a present from my Mum and found myself holding Mary Griffith's book "The Unschooling Handbook.
I had asked for it weeks ago, when still in the grip of home school preparation, and now I looked at it forlornly.
What was the point in having it?
That day I flicked through it and dismissed it as no good anyway.
It seemed to be made up entirely of case studies, snippets of information from unschooling families, there was little to tell me what I wanted to know about homeschooling.
I put the book to one side.
Then a few days later I picked it up again and started reading.
And promptly felt very silly.
What had I expected from a book on UN-schooling? Lists of subjects? Tables of set tasks? Goals to reach by certain ages?
Palm.... meet face.
The book was an honest look at unschooling families, how they educate, how they cope with outside factors (official and "friendly fire), what they do if a child asks to go back to school or wants to try it out and the shift in family life that can cause.
I read it and I finally GOT it.
The unschooling principle is one that can be applied even when your child is IN school.
I had been worrying about all the wrong things!
My whole reason for wanting to home school had centred around the fact that Ollie needed extra help at home with his weaker subjects. I had seemed faced with hours of one to one tuition which neither of us wanted and I knew these sessions would not be productive. more likely they would be bitter and angry as he tried to get away with not doing it and I pushed him into it.
It was this worry, the worry that our relationship (tempestuous at the best of times) would break completely under this strain, that had me looking at homeschooling.
Reading the book I now understand that instead of slapping down the reading/maths book, and demanding that we learn to do it right, I should instead be looking at ways to promote his strong points, find acceptable ways to practice his weak points (through play, games, TV, computer and seemingly unrelated tasks like reading instructions or weighing feed for the horses for example).
I took a good look at what we are doing and saw where the improvements could go.
Rather than restricting TV time (which can be significant after school) isn't it better to make sure the DVDs he watches are half educational? Wild life and war documentaries are no chore to watch for my kids, they can't get enough David Attenborough! he LOVES the Horrible Histories series on BBC i-player. Even movies like Toy Story and Star Wars have good messages and morals.
I also realised that valuable resources at home are not being used to their full potential, like the expensive keyboard the kids got as an Xmas present in 2009, used a handful of times and then sat on top of my wardrobe because there was nowhere to put it. Well imagine that! Today I found somewhere to put it, so its plugged in and accessible when ever they want! We have a stack of board games that only need an adult added to get started.
I needed to chill out a bit. Stop worrying, let it go.
I'd like to think I know enough about his weaknesses (they are my own as well of course) to know that they can be overcome.
In the early 90's me and school parted ways.
School did not know this of course.
I was "ill" at home a lot, because I struggled at school, found the work boring and/or hard. I found my artistic side strangled by art teachers who were not good enough to be real artists, my musical side stomped on my teachers who had no interest in music, only the mechanics of scribbles on paper, and my literary side squashed by teachers who only saw my spelling mistakes and not the fiction or poetry I had worked hard on.
Yes, some of my need to home school my kids stems from my school experiences, no one needs a degree to see that.
Most of my learning during that period between the ages of 12 and 15 I did alone.
I read anything and everything, from cereal boxes to wine making books.
I watched daytime TV before "daytime TV", so I watched old movies, Open university programs, the news, gentle documentaries about British wildlife or northern iron works. I watched cookery shows, detective shows from the 1970's, even the schools programs from infant to sixth form standard.
Looking back I unschooled myself pretty well.
Do I wish I had a university degree?
Sometimes.
Do I feel I'm lacking intellectually?
Not really, because you see, I'm STILL doing it!
Unschooling doesn't stop when you hit 16, you never finish it, there's always something new to learn. It doesn't care if you're in formal education or working full time, its just IS, and if the barriers are taken away and the tools are laid in front of you to use how ever and when ever you want you can't fail.
So for a while at least I am relaxing.
I think its all going to be OK.
(For those that don't you can catch up HERE.)
There have been several obstacles in the way of homeschooling. The lack of income, the nature of the work we do (often dangerous, not child friendly), the fact we are so far away from public/free resources, lack of transport.... yadda, yadda, yadda.
We had plans worked out, clever money saving ideas for learning, how we would split learning between us, Kim fully committed and eager to participate.
There's only one problem.
Ollie doesn't want to do it.
Its a bit like deflating a balloon.
The trouble is, although he is none too fond of the academic side of things at school, he loves being there. He loves his friends, the activities they do, the plays they put on, the art and music lessons, if you just took away maths and English he'd happily move into school!
This left me in a bit of a quandary.
I honestly believe that his reading and maths problems would improve in a home education environment, that he would be able to do these subjects one to one in his own way and have more time to do the things he loves, I saw it fitting in with a newer, shinier, BETTER family lifestyle and he said no!
As a parent which way should I go?
The trouble is I've yet to come across a home school story where the child in question was taken out of school against their wishes. (Although this is just my experience, there may be many of them!)
Most of the time the children either never attended school or left school having not enjoyed the experience. To take Ollie out of school when he enjoyed going seemed..... well.... as bad as making him attend school if he hated it.
So for a while I gently seethed, not at him, just the unfairness of it.
I had worked myself into a frenzy, made plans, saved a thousand useful websites, picked up books from charity shops and it was all for nothing.
Then on Xmas day I opened a present from my Mum and found myself holding Mary Griffith's book "The Unschooling Handbook.
I had asked for it weeks ago, when still in the grip of home school preparation, and now I looked at it forlornly.
What was the point in having it?
That day I flicked through it and dismissed it as no good anyway.
It seemed to be made up entirely of case studies, snippets of information from unschooling families, there was little to tell me what I wanted to know about homeschooling.
I put the book to one side.
Then a few days later I picked it up again and started reading.
And promptly felt very silly.
What had I expected from a book on UN-schooling? Lists of subjects? Tables of set tasks? Goals to reach by certain ages?
Palm.... meet face.
The book was an honest look at unschooling families, how they educate, how they cope with outside factors (official and "friendly fire), what they do if a child asks to go back to school or wants to try it out and the shift in family life that can cause.
I read it and I finally GOT it.
The unschooling principle is one that can be applied even when your child is IN school.
I had been worrying about all the wrong things!
My whole reason for wanting to home school had centred around the fact that Ollie needed extra help at home with his weaker subjects. I had seemed faced with hours of one to one tuition which neither of us wanted and I knew these sessions would not be productive. more likely they would be bitter and angry as he tried to get away with not doing it and I pushed him into it.
It was this worry, the worry that our relationship (tempestuous at the best of times) would break completely under this strain, that had me looking at homeschooling.
Reading the book I now understand that instead of slapping down the reading/maths book, and demanding that we learn to do it right, I should instead be looking at ways to promote his strong points, find acceptable ways to practice his weak points (through play, games, TV, computer and seemingly unrelated tasks like reading instructions or weighing feed for the horses for example).
I took a good look at what we are doing and saw where the improvements could go.
Rather than restricting TV time (which can be significant after school) isn't it better to make sure the DVDs he watches are half educational? Wild life and war documentaries are no chore to watch for my kids, they can't get enough David Attenborough! he LOVES the Horrible Histories series on BBC i-player. Even movies like Toy Story and Star Wars have good messages and morals.
I also realised that valuable resources at home are not being used to their full potential, like the expensive keyboard the kids got as an Xmas present in 2009, used a handful of times and then sat on top of my wardrobe because there was nowhere to put it. Well imagine that! Today I found somewhere to put it, so its plugged in and accessible when ever they want! We have a stack of board games that only need an adult added to get started.
I needed to chill out a bit. Stop worrying, let it go.
I'd like to think I know enough about his weaknesses (they are my own as well of course) to know that they can be overcome.
In the early 90's me and school parted ways.
School did not know this of course.
I was "ill" at home a lot, because I struggled at school, found the work boring and/or hard. I found my artistic side strangled by art teachers who were not good enough to be real artists, my musical side stomped on my teachers who had no interest in music, only the mechanics of scribbles on paper, and my literary side squashed by teachers who only saw my spelling mistakes and not the fiction or poetry I had worked hard on.
Most of my learning during that period between the ages of 12 and 15 I did alone.
I read anything and everything, from cereal boxes to wine making books.
I watched daytime TV before "daytime TV", so I watched old movies, Open university programs, the news, gentle documentaries about British wildlife or northern iron works. I watched cookery shows, detective shows from the 1970's, even the schools programs from infant to sixth form standard.
Looking back I unschooled myself pretty well.
Do I wish I had a university degree?
Sometimes.
Do I feel I'm lacking intellectually?
Not really, because you see, I'm STILL doing it!
Unschooling doesn't stop when you hit 16, you never finish it, there's always something new to learn. It doesn't care if you're in formal education or working full time, its just IS, and if the barriers are taken away and the tools are laid in front of you to use how ever and when ever you want you can't fail.
So for a while at least I am relaxing.
I think its all going to be OK.
Thursday, 12 November 2009
A path less trod.
We have made a lot of life choices in the last few years as a family.
We took the plunge and went vegan, swallowed our fear and brought bikes to cut down on car use, decided to keep our horses barefoot rather than encumber them with heavy metal shoes, threw out dog food and make Jenny homemade vegan food, our choosing to home school after primary school finishes.... And much more.
One of the things I have noticed though is the reactions of people (directly and indirectly) to our choices.
For a long time I was confused about peoples attitude.
After all I thought, this is OUR life, why do you care so much? We never pushed our views on people, never expected special treatment, never judged..and yet......
I've had someone tell me (in a very loud voice) That I couldn't possibly be a vegan because I had chickens. (For the record, the definition of a vegan is one who lives without the exploitation of animals. Seeing as my hens are rescued ex-layers and eggs come no matter what we do, I am comfortable eating their eggs, we don't however eat brought eggs or other products with egg in them.)
I was told that at a village meeting about a community even someone kindly asked if one of the soups would be vegan and was basically told that we couldn;t be expected to be catered for as a minority in the village (although there are 5 of us and my kids make up an a significant amount of the pupils at school).
People practically throw lifts at us because we can't POSSIBLY expect our children to cycle into town (a WHOLE 3 miles!).
The more we break away from what is considered the western "norm" the more I see frightened people.
By being vegan (and being friendly and un-judgmental makes no difference) they feel we are saying "Your diet is wrong. Its un-healthy and un-ethical."
Good friends still wink and nudged Kim and try to get him to eat meat. It makes them feel better to think veganism is a passing fad, a mini madness that causes people of over-sentimentality to deviate from the "correct" path.
By choosing to cycle rather than run around in a car they fell we are saying "By using a car you are leading a sedentary and environmentally unsustainable life." They constantly ask when we will be buying a normal car and press lifts into our palms like alms.
By choosing to home school during the secondary years they feel we are questioning the regular pattern of school. We are saying "We care about our children's education and have no faith in the regular path of schools and exams." This is something that makes them question how we could consider taking children out of school. After all we all went there didn't we? We're alright aren't we?
The fear that other people...Other NORMAL seeming people are questioning the regular order of life, the very foundations on which modern civilization is built.... Food, Transport, Education... How can these things be deviated from?
The human animal is just that. An animal with all the instinct and safety in numbers that causes the majority to at best treat you as odd and at worst behave openly hostile to you.
Nothing is more scary than someone who seems to live happily, even thrive by dancing to the beat of a different drum.
The point is some are strong enough to follow their heart others will live their lives scared of being driven from the "herd".
So if your life choices include deciding not to vaccinate, to forgo meat, to live in a roundhouse in the woods, to medicate with herbs, to drop out and walk the earth without a care...do it.
Like the man Say's you only have one life, live it, live it well, live it happy and so long as it harm none then do it with your head held high.
We took the plunge and went vegan, swallowed our fear and brought bikes to cut down on car use, decided to keep our horses barefoot rather than encumber them with heavy metal shoes, threw out dog food and make Jenny homemade vegan food, our choosing to home school after primary school finishes.... And much more.
One of the things I have noticed though is the reactions of people (directly and indirectly) to our choices.
For a long time I was confused about peoples attitude.
After all I thought, this is OUR life, why do you care so much? We never pushed our views on people, never expected special treatment, never judged..and yet......
I've had someone tell me (in a very loud voice) That I couldn't possibly be a vegan because I had chickens. (For the record, the definition of a vegan is one who lives without the exploitation of animals. Seeing as my hens are rescued ex-layers and eggs come no matter what we do, I am comfortable eating their eggs, we don't however eat brought eggs or other products with egg in them.)
I was told that at a village meeting about a community even someone kindly asked if one of the soups would be vegan and was basically told that we couldn;t be expected to be catered for as a minority in the village (although there are 5 of us and my kids make up an a significant amount of the pupils at school).
People practically throw lifts at us because we can't POSSIBLY expect our children to cycle into town (a WHOLE 3 miles!).
The more we break away from what is considered the western "norm" the more I see frightened people.
By being vegan (and being friendly and un-judgmental makes no difference) they feel we are saying "Your diet is wrong. Its un-healthy and un-ethical."
Good friends still wink and nudged Kim and try to get him to eat meat. It makes them feel better to think veganism is a passing fad, a mini madness that causes people of over-sentimentality to deviate from the "correct" path.
By choosing to cycle rather than run around in a car they fell we are saying "By using a car you are leading a sedentary and environmentally unsustainable life." They constantly ask when we will be buying a normal car and press lifts into our palms like alms.By choosing to home school during the secondary years they feel we are questioning the regular pattern of school. We are saying "We care about our children's education and have no faith in the regular path of schools and exams." This is something that makes them question how we could consider taking children out of school. After all we all went there didn't we? We're alright aren't we?
The fear that other people...Other NORMAL seeming people are questioning the regular order of life, the very foundations on which modern civilization is built.... Food, Transport, Education... How can these things be deviated from?
The human animal is just that. An animal with all the instinct and safety in numbers that causes the majority to at best treat you as odd and at worst behave openly hostile to you.
Nothing is more scary than someone who seems to live happily, even thrive by dancing to the beat of a different drum.
The point is some are strong enough to follow their heart others will live their lives scared of being driven from the "herd".
So if your life choices include deciding not to vaccinate, to forgo meat, to live in a roundhouse in the woods, to medicate with herbs, to drop out and walk the earth without a care...do it.
Like the man Say's you only have one life, live it, live it well, live it happy and so long as it harm none then do it with your head held high.
Friday, 6 November 2009
A hard week.
Well apologies are due to my regular readers.
What must you think!
No Meatless Monday!
No new posts!
Even limited twitter time.
There where a lot of small and personal niggles this week but the main upset was a parents consultation I had with my youngest two boys teachers on Monday afternoon.
Usually these things follow a set pattern.
The kids are friendly, polite, work well enough when prodded with sharp sticks that sort of thing.
I LIKE their teachers, really I do. I have know the head teacher for the last 6 years and we have been through some challenging times with my eldest with allergies and dyslexia and have always come out the end on the same track and usually laughing.
The consultation was supposed to be about Alfie as this is his first full term as a Primary one pupil.
A quick 10 minutes to let us know how he has settled in.
As we say down we where told that actually they wanted to talk more about Owen (who is P2. The first 3 classes are mixed though, so they are in the same "class")
Immediately we where told that they were worried about how "immature" they both were, how unfocused when working. Owen especially they said had slipped back and wouldn't concentrate on his work and whined that he was still a "little boy" and wanted to play with the P1's.
Apart from a few extra points this was the basic summing up of the meeting.
I can tell you I was broadsided.
As I had to rush home to meet the older kids I had no time to even process what had been said , let alone ask any questions.
Me and Kim briefly talked about it ont he way home, but then kids and other jobs got in the way and I put it to the back of my mind for the evening.
By the morning we where both fuming and I decided to send the headteacher an email asking for another meeting.
Well I can tell you I was in tears as I wrote it. I sobbed as my fingers typed and I saw how unfair they had been to my boys.
Here is the email.
Hi -----,
Yesterdays consultation broadsided me a bit and as I had to get home for Ollie and --------, I didn't really have time to think of any questions to ask you and Mrs ---- .
May I start by saying we have always found you approachable and understanding and I hope this will be the case now.
Firstly, we were disappointed that a consultation for Alfie turned into a meeting about Owen. We felt we came away with very little information on how Alfie is doing apart from the fact you find him "Immature".
If you felt there was cause to talk to use about Owen before his consultation maybe we could have organised a separate meeting?
We also felt that the problems you feel Owen (and Alfie) have are down to immaturity.We fail to see exactly what you mean and found the whole thing to be a little vague, the word immaturity being bandied around rather than a specific problem being discussed.
We don't consider either of them to be immature when interacting with boys in their age group (which they do out of school) and have always considered them to be MORE mature than boys their age in some respects, that is looking after themselves personally (toileting, dressing etc) and emotionally.
The only reason we can think you consider them immature is in comparison to their peers at -------.
However in the case of Owen I feel comparing him to his peers in unfair.
His class is made up entirely of girls, which in the main (and you admitted this yesterday) do better at this age academically and socially. For Owen to be held up against them is a false comparison In our opinion.
I should also point out that all of the girls in his class attend a great deal of after school, weekend and holiday activities, so are in effect in a "school" environment for almost twice the time Owen is.
For one thing we are unable to afford to send our children to every activity available to them and on the other hand we have no wish to as this is not the way we want to bring them up.
You already know my thoughts on not allowing children to have time to themselves and, without getting personal and I trust this will go no further, we have no wish to listen to our children whining and crying and being generally unhappy because they are being bundled into the car yet again to go to yet another after school activity. This is something we hear every day by living close to people who practice this.
In this instance it feels like we are being penalised for not having the money to do these things and also having a different opinion on child raising.
On the subject of Owen falling behind slightly and wishing to be seen as a "little boy" we feel you are being unsympathetic to his feelings in this case.
If you cast your minds back to when he started P1 he was devastated when the P3 boys would not play with him. Yes he eventually played with the girls but lets face it they played with him like a doll most of the time and for most of the year he moaned to us about having to play with the girls.
Is it any surprise that he should be initially excited about --- (another boy) and Alfie starting school?
Is it any surprise that he should then feel unhappy that he isn't able to work with them in class?
You talk about your fear of Alfie catching Owen up and maybe overtaking him academically, well we don't see this as a problem.
Remember there is only 9 months between them, the same as between Oliver and ---- in P5.
Also shouldn't Owen be given the opportunity to develop self impetus by failing? Surely this is better than spending a life time coaxing him to do better?
We find it hard to get upset about something that when the boys are 10 & 11 or 20 & 21 will simply have no relevance.
This was obviously a big concern between you and Mrs ----- though.
In summing up we both felt that the whole consultation came across as very negative.
We understand that when classes are so small any child lagging behind makes a big impact on class performance statistics, but we have no wish for our children to be educated as statistics.
In this case we would like to arrange another meeting with you to discuss what the real issues of immaturity are.
In all honesty if these boys are going to be treated as though "under performing" we will be considering bringing our homeschool plans forwards.
Yours sincerely
---------------------.
I don't think I could write that out again if I tried I was so upset.
That afternoon I received an email from the headteacher apologising profusely. She agreed that immature had been vague and in retrospect really the wrong word to use.
I actually saw her that afternoon as it was open day and we snatched 20 minutes or so talking and she agreed with me that taking the pressure off Owen to "grow up" is fine by them, yes he should be allowed to develop naturally.
In her defence I am in the minority of parents who feel this way, most if the time she is fending off angry parents demanding to know why their 5 yr old children aren't getting as much homework as the kids in another school!
The trouble with these consultations is that they are so short that to try and cram everything in things get lost along the way.
Anyway another meeting is being arranged and hopefully we will get a clearer picture of their concerns and, as parents, we will be able to take the time to discuss them with the teachers.
I have very definite ideas about my children's education.
Although the plan is to let all 3 of them finish primary education I don't want to end up with broken spirited 11 year olds with no love for learning.
On the other hand the small and personal school is a safe and (mostly) nurturing place for them and gives them a chance to make village friends they will keep.
So that is why I have been off this week.
My crying jags and fits of mild depression over whelmed me and made me feel ill.
But I'm back :)
And I have LOTS to post about :D
What must you think!
No Meatless Monday!
No new posts!
Even limited twitter time.
There where a lot of small and personal niggles this week but the main upset was a parents consultation I had with my youngest two boys teachers on Monday afternoon.
Usually these things follow a set pattern.
The kids are friendly, polite, work well enough when prodded with sharp sticks that sort of thing.
I LIKE their teachers, really I do. I have know the head teacher for the last 6 years and we have been through some challenging times with my eldest with allergies and dyslexia and have always come out the end on the same track and usually laughing.
The consultation was supposed to be about Alfie as this is his first full term as a Primary one pupil.
A quick 10 minutes to let us know how he has settled in.
As we say down we where told that actually they wanted to talk more about Owen (who is P2. The first 3 classes are mixed though, so they are in the same "class")
Immediately we where told that they were worried about how "immature" they both were, how unfocused when working. Owen especially they said had slipped back and wouldn't concentrate on his work and whined that he was still a "little boy" and wanted to play with the P1's.
Apart from a few extra points this was the basic summing up of the meeting.
I can tell you I was broadsided.
As I had to rush home to meet the older kids I had no time to even process what had been said , let alone ask any questions.
Me and Kim briefly talked about it ont he way home, but then kids and other jobs got in the way and I put it to the back of my mind for the evening.
By the morning we where both fuming and I decided to send the headteacher an email asking for another meeting.
Well I can tell you I was in tears as I wrote it. I sobbed as my fingers typed and I saw how unfair they had been to my boys.
Here is the email.
Hi -----,
Yesterdays consultation broadsided me a bit and as I had to get home for Ollie and --------, I didn't really have time to think of any questions to ask you and Mrs ---- .
May I start by saying we have always found you approachable and understanding and I hope this will be the case now.
Firstly, we were disappointed that a consultation for Alfie turned into a meeting about Owen. We felt we came away with very little information on how Alfie is doing apart from the fact you find him "Immature".
If you felt there was cause to talk to use about Owen before his consultation maybe we could have organised a separate meeting?
We also felt that the problems you feel Owen (and Alfie) have are down to immaturity.We fail to see exactly what you mean and found the whole thing to be a little vague, the word immaturity being bandied around rather than a specific problem being discussed.
We don't consider either of them to be immature when interacting with boys in their age group (which they do out of school) and have always considered them to be MORE mature than boys their age in some respects, that is looking after themselves personally (toileting, dressing etc) and emotionally.
The only reason we can think you consider them immature is in comparison to their peers at -------.
However in the case of Owen I feel comparing him to his peers in unfair.
His class is made up entirely of girls, which in the main (and you admitted this yesterday) do better at this age academically and socially. For Owen to be held up against them is a false comparison In our opinion.
I should also point out that all of the girls in his class attend a great deal of after school, weekend and holiday activities, so are in effect in a "school" environment for almost twice the time Owen is.
For one thing we are unable to afford to send our children to every activity available to them and on the other hand we have no wish to as this is not the way we want to bring them up.
You already know my thoughts on not allowing children to have time to themselves and, without getting personal and I trust this will go no further, we have no wish to listen to our children whining and crying and being generally unhappy because they are being bundled into the car yet again to go to yet another after school activity. This is something we hear every day by living close to people who practice this.
In this instance it feels like we are being penalised for not having the money to do these things and also having a different opinion on child raising.
On the subject of Owen falling behind slightly and wishing to be seen as a "little boy" we feel you are being unsympathetic to his feelings in this case.
If you cast your minds back to when he started P1 he was devastated when the P3 boys would not play with him. Yes he eventually played with the girls but lets face it they played with him like a doll most of the time and for most of the year he moaned to us about having to play with the girls.
Is it any surprise that he should be initially excited about --- (another boy) and Alfie starting school?
Is it any surprise that he should then feel unhappy that he isn't able to work with them in class?
You talk about your fear of Alfie catching Owen up and maybe overtaking him academically, well we don't see this as a problem.
Remember there is only 9 months between them, the same as between Oliver and ---- in P5.
Also shouldn't Owen be given the opportunity to develop self impetus by failing? Surely this is better than spending a life time coaxing him to do better?
We find it hard to get upset about something that when the boys are 10 & 11 or 20 & 21 will simply have no relevance.
This was obviously a big concern between you and Mrs ----- though.
In summing up we both felt that the whole consultation came across as very negative.
We understand that when classes are so small any child lagging behind makes a big impact on class performance statistics, but we have no wish for our children to be educated as statistics.
In this case we would like to arrange another meeting with you to discuss what the real issues of immaturity are.
In all honesty if these boys are going to be treated as though "under performing" we will be considering bringing our homeschool plans forwards.
Yours sincerely
---------------------.
I don't think I could write that out again if I tried I was so upset.
That afternoon I received an email from the headteacher apologising profusely. She agreed that immature had been vague and in retrospect really the wrong word to use.
I actually saw her that afternoon as it was open day and we snatched 20 minutes or so talking and she agreed with me that taking the pressure off Owen to "grow up" is fine by them, yes he should be allowed to develop naturally.
In her defence I am in the minority of parents who feel this way, most if the time she is fending off angry parents demanding to know why their 5 yr old children aren't getting as much homework as the kids in another school!
The trouble with these consultations is that they are so short that to try and cram everything in things get lost along the way.
Anyway another meeting is being arranged and hopefully we will get a clearer picture of their concerns and, as parents, we will be able to take the time to discuss them with the teachers.
I have very definite ideas about my children's education.
Although the plan is to let all 3 of them finish primary education I don't want to end up with broken spirited 11 year olds with no love for learning.
On the other hand the small and personal school is a safe and (mostly) nurturing place for them and gives them a chance to make village friends they will keep.
So that is why I have been off this week.
My crying jags and fits of mild depression over whelmed me and made me feel ill.
But I'm back :)
And I have LOTS to post about :D
Sunday, 27 September 2009
Moving up a gear towards the homeschool dream....
Things are moving along fast regarding our homeschool plans for Ollie!
I've been admitted into a local homeschoolers forum and have already made contact with TWO families within a 10 miles radius with at least one of their kids being the same age as Ollie! How lucky is that!!??
Well once you start looking you realise that homeschoolers are everywhere, even in little rural areas like mine, and the amount of people with pre-school kids who are considering it is also significant.
Ollie will be staying in school until the end of year 7 when he will be 12, so August 2012....really not that far away.
Already I have plans coming out of my ears!
Incorporating maths into tasks rather than running through reams of worksheets.
We will celebrate his first homeschool year by getting him to design his own garden, in it he can put whatever he wants BUT he will have to use a compass to find the ideal spot, learn to work within a budget for ordering seeds and sundries, use maths to make his fence, maybe even sell his surplus produce.
Much more fun than textbooks!
He'll also do woodwork projects, more advanced horse riding lessons, expand his love and understanding of English and its literature by being able to use audio books for some more advanced books, as well as keeping up his reading of course.
We have history all around us in the surrounding countryside, Neolithic stones, Roman battle fields.
In fact by the time homeschool rolls up I think we will have a job to not be so enthusiastic as to try and do everything at once!
Oh and heres a little humor, made me chuckle....remember, never take ANYTING too seriously ;)
I've been admitted into a local homeschoolers forum and have already made contact with TWO families within a 10 miles radius with at least one of their kids being the same age as Ollie! How lucky is that!!??
Well once you start looking you realise that homeschoolers are everywhere, even in little rural areas like mine, and the amount of people with pre-school kids who are considering it is also significant.
Ollie will be staying in school until the end of year 7 when he will be 12, so August 2012....really not that far away.
Already I have plans coming out of my ears!
Incorporating maths into tasks rather than running through reams of worksheets.
We will celebrate his first homeschool year by getting him to design his own garden, in it he can put whatever he wants BUT he will have to use a compass to find the ideal spot, learn to work within a budget for ordering seeds and sundries, use maths to make his fence, maybe even sell his surplus produce.
Much more fun than textbooks!
He'll also do woodwork projects, more advanced horse riding lessons, expand his love and understanding of English and its literature by being able to use audio books for some more advanced books, as well as keeping up his reading of course.
We have history all around us in the surrounding countryside, Neolithic stones, Roman battle fields.
In fact by the time homeschool rolls up I think we will have a job to not be so enthusiastic as to try and do everything at once!
Oh and heres a little humor, made me chuckle....remember, never take ANYTING too seriously ;)
Saturday, 19 September 2009
Art for kids and the joy of conversation.
Took Ollie to Country frames gallery today.
As most of the art in their exhibition at the moment is horse based he was in his element, two of his favourite things in the world in one!
We spent a good 1/2 looking at the paintings, flicking through the folders, comparing our favourites and de-mystifying the more abstract pieces.
This trip has strengthened his resolve to be an artist, one that he has insisted on since he was 7, and one I fully support.
Me and Kim worked with horses for years and the sad fact is that as a career it goes nowhere. Even the best of the best can still only earn a little over part time shop work. I was always afraid that his love of horses would lead him down that path, but maybe because we HAVE horses and they are already a huge part of his life, he won't feel the need to choose them as a career.
Art has so many more paths to follow.
At the moment he wants to be and artist and art teacher like his teacher Marion Wills, who's work he admired today.
But there are also career paths in advertising, technical design, architecture, the list is endless.
Cycling with Ollie has been a huge eye opener for us both.
Unlike in the car, we actually chat, rarely argue (HUGE for us!!)and get to discuss important issues in a casual manner, rather than a sit-down talk.
Today I broached the subject of him homeschooling when his year goes onto secondary education. As its a alien concept for him I wanted to start talking about it now, this way he should be fully aware of what it all means when the time comes.
Anyway, here are some pictures of our little trip.
This is the steep hill to the gallery..not only impossible to get up but also you have to walk DOWN it! Me and Kim cycled down it last time and our breaks were almost smoking!!
Leslie Castle, one of the many small PINK castles around Aberdeenshire!
I'm pretty sure this fella shouldn't;t be in the stubble..the rest where in another field..had to get Ollie to jump up and down and shout for him to lazily turn his head and smile for the camera ;)
As most of the art in their exhibition at the moment is horse based he was in his element, two of his favourite things in the world in one!
We spent a good 1/2 looking at the paintings, flicking through the folders, comparing our favourites and de-mystifying the more abstract pieces.
This trip has strengthened his resolve to be an artist, one that he has insisted on since he was 7, and one I fully support.
Me and Kim worked with horses for years and the sad fact is that as a career it goes nowhere. Even the best of the best can still only earn a little over part time shop work. I was always afraid that his love of horses would lead him down that path, but maybe because we HAVE horses and they are already a huge part of his life, he won't feel the need to choose them as a career.
Art has so many more paths to follow.
At the moment he wants to be and artist and art teacher like his teacher Marion Wills, who's work he admired today.
But there are also career paths in advertising, technical design, architecture, the list is endless.
Cycling with Ollie has been a huge eye opener for us both.
Unlike in the car, we actually chat, rarely argue (HUGE for us!!)and get to discuss important issues in a casual manner, rather than a sit-down talk.
Today I broached the subject of him homeschooling when his year goes onto secondary education. As its a alien concept for him I wanted to start talking about it now, this way he should be fully aware of what it all means when the time comes.
Anyway, here are some pictures of our little trip.
This is the steep hill to the gallery..not only impossible to get up but also you have to walk DOWN it! Me and Kim cycled down it last time and our breaks were almost smoking!!
Leslie Castle, one of the many small PINK castles around Aberdeenshire!
I'm pretty sure this fella shouldn't;t be in the stubble..the rest where in another field..had to get Ollie to jump up and down and shout for him to lazily turn his head and smile for the camera ;)
Friday, 18 September 2009
Miles and miles of smiles :D
I'm surprised at how many miles we are notching up on two wheels as a family.
Yesterday Kim took Ollie to art club in town on the bikes.They tried out their new lights as the evenings are drawing in and their 7pm finish means that, although not dark, it is getting "dimpsy".
We still haven't decided what to do in the winter about art club, when its already dark by 4.30 pm or earlier. I would love to try and find something similar on the weekends for him to do, otherwise we will have to drive him.
A couple of kids from school also go so I'll try and work out a car sharing rota if anyone is interested..if they don't mind their kids in the back of a landrover once every 3 or 4 weeks that is ;)
At least that way we are not only car sharing for us , but cutting others emissions as well!
Well that's my opinion and I'm gonna stick to it *heehee*
Me and Kim Cycled to Kellockbank garden centre today so a round trip of about 11 and 1/2 miles!
I tried to convince him that I needed a bag of compost but he wasn't impressed (meanie!).
The reason we went was to pick up our magazines. I love The Green parent magazine and particularly wanted this issue as it had a home education feature in it.
We also brought Permaculture magazine.
Both of these are published every two months so I don;t have to cycle that far again until November!!
The weather has been so lovely these last couple of weeks, ideal for me to get started in cycling again. Today was no exception so I remembered to take my camera today and show you the top of the road between our village and Town.
I have to say these photos do nothing to show you how steep the climb is! We live in a basin, this means that every time we get on a bike it is uphill straight away! Of course for every hill you pant and puff up, there is a nice long glide down (and visa versa! *groan*)
But its been getting better and better.
I'm feeling fitter than I have for years, my asthma is getting better, I have an inside thigh "burn" which MUST be a good thing!
Time to think about investing in some damn good waterproofs soon....I have no intention of letting a little rain dampen my smile :D
Yesterday Kim took Ollie to art club in town on the bikes.They tried out their new lights as the evenings are drawing in and their 7pm finish means that, although not dark, it is getting "dimpsy".
We still haven't decided what to do in the winter about art club, when its already dark by 4.30 pm or earlier. I would love to try and find something similar on the weekends for him to do, otherwise we will have to drive him.
A couple of kids from school also go so I'll try and work out a car sharing rota if anyone is interested..if they don't mind their kids in the back of a landrover once every 3 or 4 weeks that is ;)
At least that way we are not only car sharing for us , but cutting others emissions as well!
Well that's my opinion and I'm gonna stick to it *heehee*
Me and Kim Cycled to Kellockbank garden centre today so a round trip of about 11 and 1/2 miles!
I tried to convince him that I needed a bag of compost but he wasn't impressed (meanie!).
The reason we went was to pick up our magazines. I love The Green parent magazine and particularly wanted this issue as it had a home education feature in it.
We also brought Permaculture magazine.
Both of these are published every two months so I don;t have to cycle that far again until November!!
The weather has been so lovely these last couple of weeks, ideal for me to get started in cycling again. Today was no exception so I remembered to take my camera today and show you the top of the road between our village and Town.
I have to say these photos do nothing to show you how steep the climb is! We live in a basin, this means that every time we get on a bike it is uphill straight away! Of course for every hill you pant and puff up, there is a nice long glide down (and visa versa! *groan*)
But its been getting better and better.
I'm feeling fitter than I have for years, my asthma is getting better, I have an inside thigh "burn" which MUST be a good thing!
Time to think about investing in some damn good waterproofs soon....I have no intention of letting a little rain dampen my smile :D
Wednesday, 16 September 2009
A day of cycling, art and homeschool plans....
Country Frames Art Gallery, Leslie, Insch.What a beautiful and inspiring day we've had so far.
Me and Kim cycled to Country Frames, an art gallery a couple of miles down the road from us (uphill all the way..ouch).
We've been a couple of times, they framed one of our Glastonbury prints for us beautifully, but this was the first time we had set off to see an exhibition there.
One of the main artists there was Roselyne O'Neil a very talented lady who works in many mediums and produces some fantastic equine art as well as other subjects.
Another local artist is Marion Wills, who incidentally is visiting art teacher at my son's school! She had some striking pieces, mostly staring her own horse, a Fjord called Ffin.
We spent a very happy hour viewing the exhibition and the other art work, we even got a free cup of coffee for cycling to them lol.
I'm taking Ollie up there on Saturday morning, I'm sure the mix of horses and art can only inspire him!
So, me and Kim have talked a lot about homeschooling once the kids hit 11, and the cycle home was a good time to chat about it. There are so many things locally that we had never really thought about that will benefit the kids educationally, the countryside, the art galleries (there are 3 I know of all within cycling distance!) the Archaeolink centre and of course the library in town.
Also the whole social aspect was something we chatted at length about today.
Thinking about it he still has his friends in the village, both Kim and I had many more friends outside school than in it.
Armed with this I decided to make an appointment to see our head teacher today and instead spent 20 minutes chatting about it informally instead, so no need for the formal meeting!
To my surprise she was in total agreement and has promised to help us with any red tape that comes our way!
Anyway, expect more posts on this subject in the near future as we gear up for leaving the school system!
So..how about a giveaway!
Nothing fancy, a post card I picked up from the gallery...A Celtic image of the "Maeshowe Dragon, Orkney" By Roselyne O'Neil.
This can be sent as a post card or mailed to you in an envelope to keep it clean and neat enough to frame?
Very pretty, very Scottish ;)
To be in with a chance please comment on this post...and a real comment please ;)
Lucky winner will be pulled out of a hat next Wednesday!!
Sunday, 13 September 2009
Poll Results; Homeschooling.
Results are in.....
In what instance would you home school your children?
To ensure a correct education 3 (60%)
To ensure a better mix of friends beyond age. 0 (0%)
If my child was being bullied. 1 (20%)
If my child was behind peers academically. 0 (0%)
If my child was ahead of peers academically. 0 (0%)
Because it's my choice. 1 (20%)
I wouldn't home school 0 (0%)
An important issue to address here is surely why 60% of parents would home school to ensure a correct education for their children!
Schools were made to offer children a good level of education but time and again it seems we as parents have little faith in their ability to.
I know I'm not alone in looking at the three piles of reading, homework and projects sat on the table after school every afternoon and wondering what it is they DO in their that means so much work has to come home with them!
And this is before you take into account any special educational needs your child may have.
20% sited bullying as their main reason.
If I was in a position of having to take my child out of school due to bullying I would not hesitate. You would not be expected to put up with daily peril and stress in a workplace, why should it be any different at school? How can a child receive a good education when they spend their whole time watching their back?
And the last 20% said they would home school because it was their choice. SO many parents are pushed into sending their children into the factory farm equivalent of education because they don;t realise they DO have a choice. Use it or lose it so the saying goes.
What are YOUR thoughts???
Wednesday, 26 August 2009
The home school debate, or how to dig yourself deeper into the weird family hole.
The topic of home schooling has been one that has come up a lot over the last 7 years or so.
It started when we met up with an old friend of husbands and his wife and children. It transpired that they homeschooled and a nicer pair of articulate and confident children I had never met.
Eldest was two at the time and I remember giving it some serious consideration, but then I had #2 and #3 son in quick succession and the thought went on the back boiler for a while.
I had always dug my heels in about sending the boys to nursery, something that parents routinely do from 2 and a half in Scotland (from 3 it is government funded). I always said no way. Our nearest nursery was too far away (even though we had a car then I don't drive anyway), there was no public transport and I had no desire to put my 3 year old son in a taxi with a stranger to go to a nursery where I would probably never even meet his carers.
People made noises about how good it would be to socialize him, how he would be "ready for school" and possibly behind if he didn't go.
I pointed out that no single doctor or lawyer practicing today was made to go to full time nursery and they did just fine.
As it happened when eldest started school I was taken aside by his teacher and told that it was so nice to have a child start school who wasn't already jaded by the "system", a child who approached learning like an adventure.
And for the record he is a million times more gregarious than me or his father ;)
Anyway....
I digress.
Home schooling popped up again when he started to have trouble at school. He has just (yesterday in fact) been diagnosed with Dyslexia and Audio memory problems, something we and his teachers have known for a while but until now has not been "formally recognised" by the powers that be.
Sometimes I would think about the amount of wasted time he has in school and then the extra work he has to do after school and think "what is the point? I could do this with him in half the time." But what stops me is that it is a genuinely GREAT school. Its small (22 pupils split in to two classes) the teachers are enthusiastic and approachable, nothing like the teachers I had as a child. And he loves going, he loves being with his friends and working.
I know that if he was in a larger school his problems would not have been picked up for a long time, he is clever at hiding and diverting when he is struggling with something.
So I had decided that primary school should be attended.
However I was having thoughts about secondary school.
Only 2 years away and he goes from a school of 22 to a school of 784 pupils. I admit ti having some worries about how he will get on there, if he will get the kind of support that he gets now.
So maybe I will homeschool them for secondary school, but it raises other issues.
On a budget and without a regular car can I grantee he (and eventually his brothers) will get to do things. Will they get to clubs or activities and meet other kids. Even if we have the car can we afford to do that.
Again, living in a town or city this would be fine, there are buses and museums and libraries and youth clubs all within walking or cycling distance. In truth though most things like that up here are in the nearest large town 15 miles away.
Its a consideration.
Luckily in a meeting with the support teacher and the assessor yesterday I learnt a lot about the new software the secondary school has for kids who need additional support, the allowances with things like spell check and calculators so they can do exams.
More research is needed I think.
Should have not have kids and brought a new puppy instead ;)
It started when we met up with an old friend of husbands and his wife and children. It transpired that they homeschooled and a nicer pair of articulate and confident children I had never met.
Eldest was two at the time and I remember giving it some serious consideration, but then I had #2 and #3 son in quick succession and the thought went on the back boiler for a while.
I had always dug my heels in about sending the boys to nursery, something that parents routinely do from 2 and a half in Scotland (from 3 it is government funded). I always said no way. Our nearest nursery was too far away (even though we had a car then I don't drive anyway), there was no public transport and I had no desire to put my 3 year old son in a taxi with a stranger to go to a nursery where I would probably never even meet his carers.
People made noises about how good it would be to socialize him, how he would be "ready for school" and possibly behind if he didn't go.
I pointed out that no single doctor or lawyer practicing today was made to go to full time nursery and they did just fine.
As it happened when eldest started school I was taken aside by his teacher and told that it was so nice to have a child start school who wasn't already jaded by the "system", a child who approached learning like an adventure.
And for the record he is a million times more gregarious than me or his father ;)
Anyway....
I digress.
Home schooling popped up again when he started to have trouble at school. He has just (yesterday in fact) been diagnosed with Dyslexia and Audio memory problems, something we and his teachers have known for a while but until now has not been "formally recognised" by the powers that be.
Sometimes I would think about the amount of wasted time he has in school and then the extra work he has to do after school and think "what is the point? I could do this with him in half the time." But what stops me is that it is a genuinely GREAT school. Its small (22 pupils split in to two classes) the teachers are enthusiastic and approachable, nothing like the teachers I had as a child. And he loves going, he loves being with his friends and working.
I know that if he was in a larger school his problems would not have been picked up for a long time, he is clever at hiding and diverting when he is struggling with something.
So I had decided that primary school should be attended.
However I was having thoughts about secondary school.
Only 2 years away and he goes from a school of 22 to a school of 784 pupils. I admit ti having some worries about how he will get on there, if he will get the kind of support that he gets now.
So maybe I will homeschool them for secondary school, but it raises other issues.
On a budget and without a regular car can I grantee he (and eventually his brothers) will get to do things. Will they get to clubs or activities and meet other kids. Even if we have the car can we afford to do that.
Again, living in a town or city this would be fine, there are buses and museums and libraries and youth clubs all within walking or cycling distance. In truth though most things like that up here are in the nearest large town 15 miles away.
Its a consideration.
Luckily in a meeting with the support teacher and the assessor yesterday I learnt a lot about the new software the secondary school has for kids who need additional support, the allowances with things like spell check and calculators so they can do exams.
More research is needed I think.
Should have not have kids and brought a new puppy instead ;)
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