*Hits head against wall*

The two youngest boys got in trouble yesterday and as usual I find myself wishing I could home school.
Don't get me wrong, If they're naughty they SHOULD get punished, but it seems more and more that the teachers at this school are only happy with girls.
It often feels like the boys (and its not just my boys) are punished for being...well... boys.
They get banned from playing football because of ONE child (hardly fair), movement isn't encouraged, bullying by a couple of the older "good" girls seems to be overlooked.

Dear god..... I don't want to be one of those "I know they're no angels, but...." mothers, but their school experience isn't so great for them.
Even my eldest backed them up.
He's a people pleaser, so never said anything while he was at that school, but now readily agrees and gives his own anecdotes about unfairness.

Its not this school.... its all of them.

The youngest two have no enthusiasm for school now, although they both have inquiring minds at home they just don't see the point of bothering at school.

My youngest especially has a hard time, and his anxiety manifests itself at home.... He's much calmer during the holidays for example.

If I had the oppotunity to be more mobile and DO things I'd seriously consider homeschool.
I'm just scared that if I did take them out of school there'd be nothing for them to do after a while.

Sucks that the public transport here is so rubbish and expensive...

Rant over :/              

So you think you can't tighten your belt?

Cutting down spending always seems impossible.
When the bills are all going up and food gets no cheaper, you wonder where you can possibly cut back.
It's something we try not to talk about in public because, sadly, the first thing people usually say is "well! if you got rid of the horses...!"

Not happening.

We don't believe animals are "things" to be discarded when the going gets tough, the only way they would go to new homes is if we genuinely could not find the money to keep the in good health.

But sometimes it feels like its getting that way.

After Xmas we sat down to take a long hard look at the facts. We needed to cut back somewhere.

So here's some things we've done to save money... (not all will be relevant as they include horses/chickens etc but they might be handy for some ;) ... as well as some general ideas.

SHOPPING

1. Make a list: Basic advice but so often not done. Once a week go through your freezer/fridge/cupboards and decide what you need. I like to make sure I have a certain amount of some products in my store at anyone time, things like plant milks/flours/pasta/baked beans etc... so replenish those.
2. Try and stick to your list...: But not blindly. If I come across fruit and vegetables that are reduced I'll buy those instead. If spaghetti is on offer I'll buy  that instead of macaroni etc.
3. Treat supermarket offers with suspicion ..: But don't rule them out. Most offers are on branded goods but sometimes... SOMETIMES its cheaper. For example we usually buy a supermarket own brand cereal, but an offer on a branded one actually works out cheaper at the moment. It doesn't happen often but its worth doing that math.
4. Talking of math..: Unless you have a keen mathematical mind, take a calculator. Work out the price per 100g/ml etc, it really can be surprising!
5. Think about your shopping experience: How stressful your trip to the shops is will determine how you spend. If possible, try and pick a time of day that is quieter (Sunday evenings are nice, and also have lots of reduced items!). If you can do it alone, then do. If you have to take children either split into two groups (with a small trolley for each group) or try and charge each child with helping out. It may take longer but will be less stressful.
6. Shop from home: If you can't shop at a quiet time or have children on your own who enjoy making shopping hell, then its worth considering home delivery. The delivery charge may work out less than you would "stress spend".
7. Don't buy self harm: Cigarettes, alcohol, junk food, fizzy drinks, anything labelled "sugar free" or "fat free"... these should not be a part of your weekly shopping. If these things are part of your grocery shopping you need a drastic rethink. Why would you spend money you don't have on things that make you ill?

FOOD.

1. Know what you have in your freezer/fridge/cupboards: Careless shopping often ends up manifesting in 3 open jars of the same product.
2. Plan your meals: Naturally you can be flexible, but having a rough idea of what you're going to eat will help you plan  your shopping.
3. Use what you have: You won't save money meal planning if you're buying all the ingredients every week. Plan cleverly around what you have already.
4. Leftovers are not your enemy. When most people talk about leftovers they mean having a Sunday roast and then using meat again on the Monday. As we eat vegan, this doesn't happen, but we are clever. Some examples (all homemade unless specified)...
   *Leftover pasta sauce mixed into extra veg and some lentils to make soup.
   *Leftover soup added to casserole.
   *Leftover casserole made into soup.
   *Leftover curry/chili made into pasties.
   *Leftover pasta made into salad.
   *Leftover mashed potato made into potato cakes/bread. ... and so on...
5. Never make soup or casserole straight from a recipe: These meals where designed to use up food. They should be made from your leftovers or from the veg you have a surplus of or that needs using NOW! The key to these dishes is in the herbs you use. Follow a recipe by all means, but be brave enough to change things. Maybe you have no sweet potato but lots of swede? Use it! It'll work, I promise!
6. If you have lots of one thing, either you bought it greatly reduced or you have excess from the garden, remember how friendly Google is! Search online for ideas on how to cook it. Sometimes  you'll find whole websites devoted to one food!! A surplus of cabbage will never scare you again ;)          
7. Make your own baked goods: The raw ingredients for bread, cake, cookies etc are very, very cheap so learn how to bake! If price alone doesn't convince you, remember just how much in the way of preservatives, colourings and other rubbish goes into shop bought baked goods, home made is healthier, you know exactly whats in it AND it tastes nicer too. Its a win, win!
8. Think about your eating habits: Its easy to get stuck in a rut with food, especially if you're a "meat and two veg" person. Some of the cheapest and nutritionally dense foods are vegan! 
9. Don't try to be TOO cheap: In my opinion there are somethings that are perfectly ok to buy in the supermarket "value" ranges.. and some that aren't. For example I'll buy value plain flour to use in sauces and things, but will buy the next level up for self raising. Value self raising flour is not man enough! Value tinned tomatoes and baked beans are perfectly acceptable, but value bread is disgusting (and full of crap!). Value "Weetabix" are gross and the kids refuse to eat them (don't blame them, I tried them too) but the supermarket own brand ones are as good as the branded. Also, just because its value doesn't make it cheaper, and its also worth remembering that you haven't saved anything if its so horrible that your family won't eat it.
10. Use loose leaf tea. Cheaper and goes further too!
11. Don't eat so much. Really. We all eat too much ;)

HOME

1. Draft proof your home! Do it! Curtains, blinds, shutters, draft exluders, loft insulation. A well insulated and draft free home will need the bare minimum of heating.
2. Wear more clothes inside. Its February, you shouldn't be sitting in your house in a t shirt....
3. Upcycle things! Turn past their best towels in to face cloths, old tea towels in to dish cloths, old t-shirts into dusters (or bags, or scarves, or skirts.. seriously Google it!). Jam jars into containers, empty tubs into freezer Tupperware.
4. Mend things. Pick up a needle and thread and fix the hole in that sweater instead of throwing it away.
5. Sort your laundry. Not just whites and darks, but by different wash cycles. Bath towels and lightly soiled clothes are perfectly fine on an eco wash (30 degrees or less). Heavily soiled clothes should be soaked first. For extra green points, put heavily soiled clothes in your used bath water and leave over night. Ring out the excess water and then they can be washed at a moderate temperature instead of a damaging and expensive higher one. Be sure to weigh your clothes so you don't end up putting too much weight in your washing machine. Wet clothes take up less pace in the drum than dry ones ;)
6. Don't change your clothes so much! I know people who will change their clothes 2 or even 3 times a day! If you have to change your clothes in the day, because of your job maybe, then the chances are you can wear the clothes again the next day. Ideally, put  them on a hanger next to an open window, or out on the washing line for an hour or so to "air". There's being clean and tidy and then there's being OCD!

LEISURE   

1. Eating out is expensive. If you find that eating out or getting take aways is a regular occurrence, think about why you do? A special meal can be just as special at home. Invite friends over for dinner and ask them to bring a dish, social fun and cheap while still being celebratory.
2. Movies. We love them! The actual experience of going to the movies is expensive (especially for us as our nearest cinema is 35 miles away!). We try to go 3 or 4 times a year. The kids love popcorn but its lots cheaper to buy one large bag for them to share than it is to buy 3 small bags. They also take their water bottles with them, so no sickly, over priced sodas! If you're hardcore you can smuggle in your own snacks, but some cinemas frown on this..... I wonder why? ;) To get our movie fix at other times though we have a weekly "movie night" at home. We make our own popcorn, make a dinner easily eaten off our laps and watch either something from our own library or from lovefilm.
3. Ditch the TV. The TV license is a cost I can do without. Most people have a collection of DVD's at home and internet access. Via i-player and youtube there's a wealth of viewing material. Also add a lovefilm subscription (with is VERY good value if you like renting box sets as well as single movies) and you're covered, all without the TV in the corner tempting you to turn it on to watch rubbish and advertisements.
4. Newspapers: A newspaper a day (not including sat/sun papers) adds up to a whopping £200 + a year!! Breaking news is available online and also offers you the choice of several different view points and more in depth research if you want.
5. Magazines: The average magazine now costs nearly £4. Take a close look though and, again, you'll notice that a good third will be advertisements, or features written by a company. Use the internet for impartial advice and ideas and check out books for more in depth essays..... If you buy gossip magazines that peddle judgmental opinions of people in the media glare, consider giving these up. Encouraging you to judge others by their looks or actions will only make you feel judged yourself. x
6. Walk more. Its healthy and free ;)

PETS

1. Dog food: If your dog food contains "Meat and other animal derivatives" bin it.... someone scrapped the slaughterhouse floor and that's your "animal derivatives". Food companies are obliged to use "meat fit for human consumption" in pet food, but this only means they have to use the animal fit for human consumption. So your pet really is being fed the dregs. Then to hide this fact and make it more palatable, they colour it, add flavourings and sugars.... super! Its vile, and even cheap dog food is expensive. Make your own! Dogs thrive on numerous foods. Its not harmful to their health to be given normal food. I often cook up veg peelings and rice, add a spoon of peanut butter and a dash of oil and you have a filling, almost free, balanced meal for a dog. Obviously what you eat  your home will determine what you feed your dog, table scraps are fine unless you eat large amounts of junk food or the scraps are full of food that is dangerous for dogs to eat (ie, onions, rasins, chocolate). Use your common sense.
2. Chickens: When we first got chickens I bought layers pellets for them... then I realised how expensive it was and did some research. Now I feed two straight feeds (mixed corn and rolled oats) which are half the price, and I grind up vegetable scraps for them. They're also very fond of left over cereals, pasta and rice. It goes without saying that you shouldn't feed them chicken right? 
3. Horses: I could write a book on this, but will stick to a few points here. 99/100 a horses is being fed WAY more hard feed and supplements than they need. Most people presume their horse is in "medium to hard" work, when in fact they are barely working hard enough to warrant a "maintenance" level of feeding. If your horse does what the majority of horses do in a week (4-5 days ridden, two schooling sessions, two hacks, one longer hack or competition) they are still in "Low" work.
   This basically means they only need a very small amount of concentrated feed, a broad spectrum vitamin and mineral supplement and forage in the form of hay or grass. That's it. A normal, healthy horses needs no more. Feed your horses as naturally as possible, trickle fed roughage, let them stay out as much as possible. Better for them, better for your pocket. This is a VERY basic generalization but thats what it boils down to.          

QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF BEFORE SPENDING MONEY.                          

• Do I need it or do I want it?
• If I want it how will it improve my life?
• Can I do without it?
• Am I prepared to go without elsewhere to have this item?
• Is this something I can make myself?
• Is this something someone I know can make in exchange for something I can make/do.
• Can I borrow it? (eg Library/neighbour etc)
• Will this thing have any negative reactions in my life?
• Can I postpone buying it? If so, will I still want it next month?
• Is this something that will last well?
• Is this something I am happy to share?

I know its not a comprehensive post, just the things that came to mind immediately  I'd love you guys to leave your own money saving tips in the comments for other readers to see!  *Plot twist... she wants you to leave comments* ;)

I've been absent from here...... Some of it has been because I've been working on other projects, but mostly I'd got to a point where I felt I had nothing relative to say anymore.
The garden here was really pretty neglected the last 12 months. Some of this was to do with the weather (terrible terrible wet summers and late/early frosts), some of it was because I was working... tending other peoples gardens for money.
It was only really a few weeks ago that I realised how ridiculous this was .... what was the point in looking after other peoples gardens for a little money rather than tending my own and growing food.
Seriously, didn't this go against EVERYTHING?

So, currently we're designing and building a real permecultre garden rather than just traditional veg plots, although they will be a small part of it.
We're working hard to find as any native trees, bushes and plants that we can rather than trying to grow "traditional" fruit and veg.... We're in the NE of Scotland, growing tomatos and cucumber without a heated greenhouse is ... if not impossible... at least difficult and at best hit and miss.

Anyway for those that are interested, here's a  pictorial run down of the last year before I crack on with starting this blog up again properly :)

Yes you CAN have it both ways!

Those of you who have followed this blog for a while will know of my "will I, won't I" debate with homeschooling.

(For those that don't you can catch up HERE.)

There have been several obstacles in the way of homeschooling. The lack of income, the nature of the work we do (often dangerous, not child friendly), the fact we are so far away from public/free resources, lack of transport.... yadda, yadda, yadda.
We had plans worked out, clever money saving ideas for learning, how we would split learning between us, Kim fully committed and eager to participate.
There's only one problem. 

Ollie doesn't want to do it.

Its a bit like deflating a balloon.

The trouble is, although he is none too fond of the academic side of things at school, he loves being there. He loves his friends, the activities they do, the plays they put on, the art and music lessons, if you just took away maths and English he'd happily move into school!

This left me in a bit of a quandary.
I honestly believe that his reading and maths problems would improve in a home education environment, that he would be able to do these subjects one to one in his own way and have more time to do the things he loves, I saw it fitting in with a newer, shinier, BETTER family lifestyle and he said no!
As a parent which way should I go?

Take him out of school anyway because I think it would be best for him?

The trouble is I've yet to come across a home school story where the child in question was taken out of school against their wishes. (Although this is just my experience, there may be many of them!)
Most of the time the children either never attended school or left school having not enjoyed the experience. To take Ollie out of school when he enjoyed going seemed..... well.... as bad as making him attend school if he hated it.

So for a while I gently seethed, not at him, just the unfairness of it.
I had worked myself into a frenzy, made plans, saved a thousand useful websites, picked up books from charity shops and it was all for nothing.

Then on Xmas day I opened a present from my Mum and found myself holding Mary Griffith's book "The Unschooling Handbook.
I had asked for it weeks ago, when still in the grip of home school preparation, and now I looked at it forlornly.
What was the point in having it?

That day I flicked through it and dismissed it as no good anyway.
It seemed to be made up entirely of case studies, snippets of information from unschooling families, there was little to tell me what I wanted to know about homeschooling.

I put the book to one side.  

Then a few days later I picked it up again and started reading.
And promptly felt very silly.

What had I expected from a book on UN-schooling? Lists of subjects? Tables of set tasks? Goals to reach by certain ages?

Palm.... meet face.

The book was an honest look at unschooling families, how they educate, how they cope with outside factors (official and "friendly fire), what they do if a child asks to go back to school or wants to try it out and the shift in family life that can cause.
I read it and I finally GOT it.

The unschooling principle is one that can be applied even when  your child is IN school.

I had been worrying about all the wrong things!
My whole reason for wanting to home school had centred around the fact that Ollie needed extra help at home with his weaker subjects. I had seemed faced with hours of one to one tuition which neither of us wanted and I knew these sessions would not be productive. more likely they would be bitter and angry as he tried to get away with not doing it and I pushed him into it.
It was this worry, the worry that our relationship (tempestuous at the best of times) would break completely under this strain, that had me looking at homeschooling.

Reading the book I now understand that instead of slapping down the reading/maths book, and demanding that we learn to do it right, I should instead be looking at ways to promote his strong points, find acceptable ways to practice his weak points (through play, games, TV, computer and seemingly unrelated tasks like reading instructions or weighing feed for the horses for example).

I took a good look at what we are doing and saw where the improvements could go.
Rather than restricting TV time (which can be significant after school) isn't it better to make sure the DVDs he watches are half educational? Wild life and war documentaries are no chore to watch for my kids, they can't get enough David Attenborough! he LOVES the Horrible Histories series on BBC i-player. Even movies like Toy Story and Star Wars have good messages and morals.

I also realised that valuable resources at home are not being used to their full potential, like the expensive keyboard the kids got as an Xmas present in 2009, used a handful of times and then sat on top of my wardrobe because there was nowhere to put it. Well imagine that! Today I found somewhere to put it, so its plugged in and accessible when ever they want! We have a stack of board games that only need an adult added to get started.

I needed to chill out a bit. Stop worrying, let it go.

I'd like to think I know enough about his weaknesses (they are my own as well of course) to know that they can be overcome.

In the early 90's me and school parted ways.
School did not know this of course.
I was "ill" at home a lot, because I struggled at school, found the work boring and/or hard. I found my artistic side strangled by art teachers who were not good enough to be real artists, my musical side stomped on my teachers who had no interest in music, only the mechanics of scribbles on paper, and my literary side squashed by teachers who only saw my spelling mistakes and not the fiction or poetry I had worked hard on.

Yes, some of my need to home school my kids stems from my school experiences, no one needs a degree to see that.

Most of my learning during that period between the ages of 12 and 15 I did alone.
I read anything and everything, from cereal boxes to wine making books.
I watched daytime TV before "daytime TV", so I watched old movies, Open university programs, the news, gentle documentaries about British wildlife or northern iron works. I watched cookery shows, detective shows from the 1970's, even the schools programs from infant to sixth form standard.

Looking back I unschooled myself pretty well.

Do I wish I had a university degree?
Sometimes.
Do I feel I'm lacking intellectually?
Not really, because you see, I'm STILL doing it!
Unschooling doesn't stop when you hit 16, you never finish it, there's always something new to learn. It doesn't care if you're in formal education or working full time, its just IS, and if the barriers are taken away and the tools are laid in front of you to use how ever and when ever you want you can't fail.

So for a while at least I am relaxing.

I think its all going to be OK.    
    

Green baby?

Seems like summer was a relaxed time for some of you!! Yes, it seems like everyone I know is having a BABY!!!!!
So what better way to sat CONGRATS!! than by writing a blog post!

Here I am to share some tips and other info on how you can prepare for your new baby as cheaply and healthily as possible.

• Lucky you!! Freecycle, car boots and free ads are STUFFED with hardly or even never used quality baby stuff. From buggies and cots, clothes and toys, slings and playpens its a buyers market. So many people buy all this from new and then a few months down the line have no more need for it, Dive in there and grab a bargain!
• Breast is best but what if you can't? Go for organic formula milk, don't be afraid of soya formula (It DIDN'T cause growth problems, long term studies showed adults fed on soya formula in the 70,s and 80's grew up healthy and are now having kids of their own). Use glass or those without nasty chemicals BPA's especially. 
• Do you really have to buy a brand new car seat? Safety advice says yes. Impact damage during a crash will not show up on the outside of the car seat but will mean it won't protect in the event of another accident. However, use your own judgment. If a friend or relative has a car seat you know hasn't been in an accident don't turn it down. Use your head.
• Buy a cot. Seriously there is no need to buy a crib or moses basket, you will use it a few weeks tops and then have the bother of transition from crib to cot as well. You can buy dividers to make a cot smaller if you want, this way your baby won't look "lost" as a newborn and the divider can simply be moved a little every few weeks as your baby grows.
• Cot beds are a waste of money. Too big for little babies, out grown as a bed within a month or two. A regular cot can easily be adapted into a "day bed" style toddler bed by a competent DIY-er until such a time as a real bed is needed.
• Slings. How I wish they had been as affordable when I had mine (6 years is a long time in the baby market!) From front carrying and backpack styles to the "throw in a bag" ethnic slings, these are a MUST and means you can take your baby everywhere with you without having to lug a heavy buggy around.
• Think long and hard about what buggy you need. Think about where you live. If you live in the country or like to go for long walks then pneumatic tyres are a must, don't even bother if they don't have them. A buggy with a seat that can become a carrycot is very useful as it not only grows with baby but is also a useful place to let him/her sleep in the day in the early weeks.
• Baby food. Nasty nasty stuff. Avoid any tiny tins, the white coating on the inside is highly coated in chemicals to prevent rusting. If you need food on the hoof and a mashed banana won't do it go for a jar of organic baby food. Also check the BBD, if it is more than a month away don't use it, food that takes more than a month to go bad is no good for anyone !
• Make your own baby food. So easy!! Invest in a good hand blender and some little jars. Pretty much any vegetable and fruit can be heated and pureed for first foods. When they are just starting out  a good tip is to make a batch of puree and then freeze them in ice cube trays. That way you can make a lot on one go and then you can give them a good variety. ie carrot and broccolie and potato all on one plate!! Small babies on the move are well catered for with a banana and a fork :)
• Nappies. Its a toughie. If you live in an area that has an abundance of water and plenty of good line drying winds then cloth nappies are the best for baby and the environment. However if you live in an area with water shortages or constant nasty wet days when you have to use a tumble drier then disposable nappies are also an option. Go for a good bio-degradable brand. Remember there is nothing wrong with mixing and matching as well!  
• Check out  Gro Bags baby sleeping bags! An easy and safe way to make sure your baby is always the correct temp and doesn't either kick off his covers of get them over his face. Also means a sleeping baby is highly portable! 

I think that's all I have for the moment! I dare say I'll remember more later!
A good blog for organic baby musings is Annies Organic Baby Blog full of real life baby stuff :D
Mums! Please comment and add your own tips for those that are just starting out!

Congratulations ladies :)    

Back to school, the ups and downs.

First full week of the new school year is nearly over for children in Scotland, and English kids will be packing their bags and putting on brand new uniforms in the nest week too.

Youngest child is now a Primary 2, which means going back to school was punctuated with sighs and eye rollings and "reading is boooring"-s, they always say the smartest kids act this way right?

RIGHT!?

Oh well.

Today though I saw something that near broke my heart.
As I walked past the playground I saw a new Primary 1 stood in the corner, back to the playground, crying his eyes  out and whimpering for his Mum.
I called middle child over and suggested he go ask the boy to play. He reported back that the little boy only wanted his Mum so I dispatched middle child to find a teacher.

One part of me was angry.
Here was a child only months out of nappies who wasn't even putting in a full school day yet, who had been left in a state in the playground before school. Before the bell goes there are no teachers outside, so for 15 minutes the kids do as they please.
I made sure I stayed with my kids until they went inside for the first half of all their first year. Most of the time they ran off and ignored me, but sometimes one would run back for a hug or to say a third or fourth goodbye or just to make sure I was still there. I thought it was important to show them that although they were now in school I was still a safe zone and wasn't out of the picture yet.

But hang on... don't lynch me.

Was I angry with the Mum?
No.
Like 99%  of parents she has been leaving her child/ren in the care of daycare workers, nursery workers and playgroup workers, and there mantra is always "Just leave! He's fine after a few minutes!"
However what they fail to tell you is that this is because it makes THEIR job easier not that your child becomes happier.
YOU are made to feel like an overprotective parent with a wimpy kid so that they can get on with ticking boxes.

I NEVER left any of my children crying.

"Lucky you!" I hear you smirk. "How great that you have such perfect children!"
Oh sure, Eldest and youngest are so laid back about new situations as to be perfectly horizontal, I'll give you that at least.... But middle child was a whole different ball of wax.

At the age of eighteen months I couldn't visit the toilet without him sitting outside the door crying for me. If I left a room he would follow. If I had visitors and I left a room he would run after me screaming in fear.
It was so bad it was funny..... Sort of.... Well you can look back and laugh I guess.
At 2 he started at the local playgroup.
I asked to stay with him.
You could tell this wasn't going down well.
Over a few weeks he started to move away a little, play with other kids and on his own away from me, but he still needed to run back for a hug every so often, just to reassure himself I was there.
Then one session I was stupidly convinced to leave him, all but pushed out of the door.
I heard him crying as I left.
I waited for 20 minutes and when I came in he wasn't crying..... Crying would have been good.
What he was doing was sitting at a table, a crayon gripped in his hands, his eyes wide, his face slack with fear.
He saw me and flew over screaming.

After that I said if they wanted our money I was staying with him as long as needed.
So I became an unofficial helper and what I saw opened my eyes.

Children of 2 and 3 who stopped crying only to sit glassy eyed on their own, waiting to be picked up. Screaming children dumped through the door like rubbish so Mum could get some "me" time, crying children who where snapped at and told to "Be a big boy!"
When you are only a few weeks on from stopping breast or bottle feeding I hardly think a toddler should be told to be a big boy, he is still very much a baby for a while yet.

Middle boy got better. By the time he was 3 he only came to me once a session for a hug, I could leave him with a friend or relative happily and by the time school came around he was more than happy to go, safe in the knowledge I would be there when he came out.
He is outgoing, brave and confident.
All the things i was told he wouldn't be if I kept "babying him."

So remember, if your child needs a hug, even a thousand hugs, and needs you there and wants to know you love them, show them.
Treat them with the love they pour unconditionally into you daily.
It's not whining or being irritating or spoilt, its just a wish for more, more, more of the love you freely give them.

They are not boxes to be stacked neatly away for an hour somewhere else.
If they are not happy to go somewhere without you , then they are not learning any of the valuable lessons that places like playgroup CAN offer.
Instead they are learning to push their need for love deep down inside where no one can find it.

Hug your child today?   

Home remedies, the Dr in your kitchen.

This weekend youngest son went to bed fine on Saturday and then in the early hours of Sunday morning, can into our bed and coughed like a trooper for the next four hours.
So come getting up time something had to be done.
I found a dusty bottle of Tixylix that was still in date and gave him a dose.

Did it help his cough?
Nope.

Did he get worse?
Yup.

Now he was feverish with spots of hi colour on his cheeks in an otherwise pale face.

The trouble is, when you have kids that don't eat much junk, highly coloured and flavored medicine can do more harm than good. Check out the additives on the back...sugar free? Well they sweeten it with something and no sweetener is good or even benign for you.

A quick trawl online brought up a few home remedies and as I had nothing to loose I thought "Why not?"

First of all I made up a quick honey and lemon mix. Now Honey is not Vegan.

Me and Kim quickly discussed this and came to the conclusion that we would buy a jar of the most local, home produced honey we could find that day (from Turriff so not bad!). My feeling is that is we can find a regular supply of home produced honey then I am happy to use it medicinally.

So I mixed the juice of 1 (organic) lemon with a good spoon on honey and then doled out this vit C rich, cough soothing mixture at a rate of 2 spoons every hour or so.

Then I made up an Expectorant.
Chop up 1 onion and 3 cloves of garlic and place in a deep bowl. Cover with sugar and leave for a couple of hours.
What you get is a fantastic syrup that  actually tastes alright!

Within a few minuets you could really hear him getting behind the cough rather than just making that awful "hu hu hu" dry sound.

Verdict?

Well  the cough dissipated rapidly and by bedtime was very light. I kept him home from school today but that was more because he slept a fair bit yesterday and didn't eat much. In fact I haven't heard him cough all morning and he's back to being argumentative and loud!

Desperate to ward off any nasties before our trip down south on Thursday me and Kim drank down cups of lemon and ginger tea with added fresh lemon and honey for a vitamin kick, and for dinner that night I made a power soup of Nettles, lungwort, plantain, dandelion, onions, garlic, celery and potato.

Despite having youngest coughing in my face all Saturday night in bed *touch wood* I feel fine.

Do you guys have any home remedies you want to share?

A hard week.

Well apologies are due to my regular readers.

What must you think!

No Meatless Monday!

No new posts!

Even limited twitter time.

There where a lot of small and personal niggles this week but the main upset was a parents consultation I had with my youngest two boys teachers on Monday afternoon.

Usually these things follow a set pattern.
The kids are friendly, polite, work well enough when prodded with sharp sticks that sort of thing.

I LIKE their teachers, really I do. I have know the head teacher for the last 6 years and we have been through some challenging times with my eldest with allergies and dyslexia and have always come out the end on the same track and usually laughing.

The consultation was supposed to be about Alfie as this is his first full term as a Primary one pupil.
A quick 10 minutes to let us know how he has settled in.

As we say down we where told that actually they wanted to talk more about Owen (who is P2. The first 3 classes are mixed though, so they are in the same "class")

Immediately we where told that they were worried about how "immature" they both were, how unfocused when working. Owen especially they said had slipped back and wouldn't concentrate on his work and whined that he was still a "little boy" and wanted to play with the P1's.

Apart from a few extra points this was the basic summing up of the meeting.

I can tell you I was broadsided.
As I had to rush home to meet the older kids I had no time to even process what had been said , let alone ask any questions.

Me and Kim briefly talked about it ont he way home, but then kids and other jobs got in the way and I put it to the back of my mind for the evening.

By the morning we where both fuming and I decided to send the headteacher an email asking for another meeting.
Well I can tell you I was in tears as I wrote it. I sobbed as my fingers typed and I saw how unfair they had been to my boys.

Here is the email.



Hi -----,

Yesterdays consultation broadsided me a bit and as I had to get home for Ollie and --------, I didn't really have time to think of any questions to ask you and Mrs ---- .

May I start by saying we have always found you approachable and understanding and I hope this will be the case now.

Firstly, we were disappointed that a consultation for Alfie turned into a meeting about Owen. We felt we came away with very little information on how Alfie is doing apart from the fact you find him "Immature".
If you felt there was cause to talk to use about Owen before his consultation maybe we could have organised a separate meeting?

We also felt that the problems you feel Owen (and Alfie) have are down to immaturity.We fail to see exactly what you mean and found the whole thing to be a little vague, the word immaturity being bandied around rather than a specific problem being discussed.
We don't consider either of them to be immature when interacting with boys in their age group (which they do out of school) and have always considered them to be MORE mature than boys their age in some respects, that is looking after themselves personally (toileting, dressing etc) and emotionally.
The only reason we can think you consider them immature is in comparison to their peers at -------.
However in the case of Owen I feel comparing him to his peers in unfair.
His class is made up entirely of girls, which in the main (and you admitted this yesterday) do better at this age academically and socially. For Owen to be held up against them is a false comparison In our opinion.
I should also point out that all of the girls in his class attend a great deal of after school, weekend and holiday activities, so are in effect in a "school" environment for almost twice the time Owen is.
For one thing we are unable to afford to send our children to every activity available to them and on the other hand we have no wish to as this is not the way we want to bring them up.
You already know my thoughts on not allowing children to have time to themselves and, without getting personal and I trust this will go no further, we have no wish to listen to our children whining and crying and being generally unhappy because they are being bundled into the car yet again to go to yet another after school activity. This is something we hear every day by living close to people who practice this.
In this instance it feels like we are being penalised for not having the money to do these things and also having a different opinion on child raising.

On the subject of Owen falling behind slightly and wishing to be seen as a "little boy" we feel you are being unsympathetic to his feelings in this case.
If you cast your minds back to when he started P1 he was devastated when the P3 boys would not play with him. Yes he eventually played with the girls but lets face it they played with him like a doll most of the time and for most of the year he moaned to us about having to play with the girls.
Is it any surprise that he should be initially excited about --- (another boy) and Alfie starting school?
Is it any surprise that he should then feel unhappy that he isn't able to work with them in class?
You talk about your fear of Alfie catching Owen up and maybe overtaking him academically, well we don't see this as a problem.
Remember there is only 9 months between them, the same as between Oliver and ---- in P5.
Also shouldn't Owen be given the opportunity to develop self impetus by failing? Surely this is better than spending a life time coaxing him to do better?
We find it hard to get upset about something that when the boys are 10 & 11 or 20 & 21 will simply have no relevance.
This was obviously a big concern between you and Mrs ----- though.

In summing up we both felt that the whole consultation came across as very negative.
We understand that when classes are so small any child lagging behind makes a big impact on class performance statistics, but we have no wish for our children to be educated as statistics.
In this case we would like to arrange another meeting with you to discuss what the real issues of immaturity are.
In all honesty if these boys are going to be treated as though "under performing" we will be considering bringing our homeschool plans forwards.

Yours sincerely

---------------------.

I don't think I could write that out again if I tried I was so upset.

That afternoon I received an email from the headteacher apologising profusely. She agreed that immature had been vague and in retrospect really the wrong word to use.

I actually saw her that afternoon as it was open day and we snatched 20 minutes or so talking and she agreed with me that taking the pressure off Owen to "grow up" is fine by them, yes he should be allowed to develop naturally.
In her defence I am in the minority of parents who feel this way, most if the time she is fending off angry parents demanding to know why their 5 yr old children aren't getting as much homework as the kids in another school!

The trouble with these consultations is that they are so short that to try and cram everything in things get lost along the way.

Anyway another meeting is being arranged and hopefully we will get a clearer picture of their concerns and, as parents, we will be able to take the time to discuss them with the teachers.

I have very definite ideas about my children's education.
Although the plan is to let all 3 of them finish primary education I don't want to end up with broken spirited 11 year olds with no love for learning.
On the other hand the small and personal school is a safe and (mostly) nurturing place for them and gives them a chance to make village friends they will keep.

So that is why I have been off this week.

My crying jags and fits of mild depression over whelmed me and made me feel ill.

But I'm back :)

And I have LOTS to post about :D

Moving up a gear towards the homeschool dream....

Things are moving along fast regarding our homeschool plans for Ollie!

I've been admitted into a local homeschoolers forum and have already made contact with TWO families within a 10 miles radius with at least one of their kids being the same age as Ollie! How lucky is that!!??


Well once you start looking you realise that homeschoolers are everywhere, even in little rural areas like mine, and the amount of people with pre-school kids who are considering it is also significant.

Ollie will be staying in school until the end of year 7 when he will be 12, so August 2012....really not that far away.
Already I have plans coming out of my ears!
Incorporating maths into tasks rather than running through reams of worksheets.
We will celebrate his first homeschool year by getting him to design his own garden, in it he can put whatever he wants BUT he will have to use a compass to find the ideal spot, learn to work within a budget for ordering seeds and sundries, use maths to make his fence, maybe even sell his surplus produce.

Much more fun than textbooks!

He'll also do woodwork projects, more advanced horse riding lessons, expand his love and understanding of English and its literature by being able to use audio books for some more advanced books, as well as keeping up his reading of course.
We have history all around us in the surrounding countryside, Neolithic stones, Roman battle fields.

In fact by the time homeschool rolls up I think we will have a job to not be so enthusiastic as to try and do everything at once!

Oh and heres a little humor, made me chuckle....remember, never take ANYTING too seriously ;)

Poll Results; Homeschooling.

Results are in.....

In what instance would you home school your children?

To ensure a correct education 3 (60%)

To ensure a better mix of friends beyond age. 0 (0%)

If my child was being bullied. 1 (20%)

If my child was behind peers academically. 0 (0%)

If my child was ahead of peers academically. 0 (0%)

Because it's my choice. 1 (20%)

I wouldn't home school 0 (0%)

An important issue to address here is surely why 60% of parents would home school to ensure a correct education for their children!

Schools were made to offer children a good level of education but time and again it seems we as parents have little faith in their ability to.
I know I'm not alone in looking at the three piles of reading, homework and projects sat on the table after school every afternoon and wondering what it is they DO in their that means so much work has to come home with them!
And this is before you take into account any special educational needs your child may have.

20% sited bullying as their main reason.
If I was in a position of having to take my child out of school due to bullying I would not hesitate. You would not be expected to put up with daily peril and stress in a workplace, why should it be any different at school? How can a child receive a good education when they spend their whole time watching their back?

And the last 20% said they would home school because it was their choice. SO many parents are pushed into sending their children into the factory farm equivalent of education because they don;t realise they DO have a choice. Use it or lose it so the saying goes.

What are YOUR thoughts???

Free range kids and the great divide.

Regular visitors here may have noticed that I have a blog list at the side of the page.
This list is a snippet of the blogs I admire, contribute to and think are relevant to the subjects I post on The (almost) Car-less family.
The Eagle eyed among you may have noticed that one is now missing.
Now I have nothing personally against the creator of the free range kids website. Many of her principles are sound and dipped in common sense.
The reason I have removed the blog is because of the bad feeling, vitriol and down right one-up-man-ship.
The post comments are full of parents belitteling anyone who dares to say "I'm sorry I don't agree", anyone who admits that no, their child doesn't walk to school is pointed at as the archetype helicopter parent.
The main thing that disturbed me was the black and whiteness of the whole thing.
Don;t get me wrong, I have no fear thet paedophiles are lurking behind every bush waiting to steal my children, but I DO worry about the fast road past my house where the only place to cross is at the bottom of two hills and is easy for an ADULT to misjudge let alone a child.
Because of this they can't go up the village to play in the street (another free range kids must), or ride their bikes without supervision.
Not one person on the blog comments could say "yes, I can understand that problem" without being shouted down by parents accusing them (and me) of just not letting go.

I don't need that kind of hate in my life.
Parenting should be a fantastic and loving journey, as individual as the people who created the children. There are no rules, there are no boxes that fit children perfectly.
The children, the area you live in, your own lifestyle, these are the things that determine how you can parent.

There are very few true free range children, just like there are very few true free range animals in farms.
Again it depends on several variables.
A pig for example cannot be taken out of the barn and called free range. He is the wrong pig on the wrong farm, making an intensively reared pig into a "free range one" means it becomes a form of neglect. You can see fields full of pink pigs in the winter, only steel shelters and not enough bedding to keep warm.
An old breed of "hairy" dark pig on a purpose made free range farm would be much happier. Many farmed boars are kept in woodland and have shelter from the elements to complement the hide they have.

Is this a strange analogy??

Stick with me now.....

These post commenter's bang on and on about how they where aloud to do this that and the other when they where kids and THEY didn't get hurt.
30, 40 50 years ago the traffic was a 1/5 of what we have now, the cars are faster and streets and housing complexes designed for the use of a car not a child's feet. To throw open your door to a wide eyed 6 year old and shout "Go play free range" is neglect in an unsafe area.

I just wonder, when will parents start to use common sense when they raise their kids, instead of latching onto a "method" and guarding it as jealously as a pit bull with a bone. When as people did we become so unsure of our abilities as parents that we have to belittle other people for being different in their own parenting approach.

Thoughts?

This time I'd really like to hear them.